the time to him. See that he is provided with a bill of exchange for as much as is necessary. If you have been able to get anything out of Aledius, as you say, write and tell me. I gather from your letter, and certainly you will from mine, that we have nothing to say to each other—the same old things day after day, though they are long ago worn threadbare. Still I cannot help sending to you every day to get a letter from you. However tell me about Brutus, if you have any information. For I suppose he knows now where to expect Pansa. If, as is generally the case, on the border of his province, he ought to be here about the first of the month. I wish it were later; for there are plenty of reasons why I shun the city. So I am even wondering whether I should make some excuse to him. I could do so easily enough. But there is plenty of time to think about it. My greetings to Pilia and Attica.
XXVIII
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
Astura, March 24, B.C. 45
About Silius I have learned nothing more from Sicca now he is here than from his letter, for he had written quite fully. So if you meet him, write and tell me your views. As to the matter on which you think a message has been sent to me, I don't know whether one has been sent or not; certainly not a word has been said to me. So go on as you have begun, and, if you come to any arrangement that satisfies her, which I don't think at all likely, take my son with you to her, if you like. It is to his interest to appear to have wanted to do something to
60nihil nisi id, quod tu scis, quod ego magni aestimo.
Quod me ad meam consuetudinem revocas, fuit meum quidem iam pridem rem publicam lugere, quod faciebam, sed mitius; erat enim, ubi acquiescerem. Nunc plane nec ego victum nec vitam illam colere possum, nec in ea re, quid aliis videatur, mihi puto curandum; mea mihi conscientia pluris est quam omnium sermo. Quod me ipse per litteras consolatus sum, non paenitet me, quantum profecerim. Maerorem minui, dolorem nec potui nec, si possem, vellem.
De Triario bene interpretaris voluntatem meam. Tu vero nihil, nisi ut illi volent. Amo illum mortuum, tutor sum liberis, totam domum diligo. De Castriciano negotio, si Castricius pro mancipiis pecuniam accipere volet eamque ita[[71]] solvi, ut nunc solvitur, certe nihil est commodius. Sin autem ita actum est, ut ipsa mancipia abduceret, non mihi videtur esse aequum (rogas enim me, ut tibi scribam, quid mihi videatur); nolo enim negotii Quintum fratrem quicquam habere; quod videor mihi intellexisse tibi videri idem. Publilius, si aequinoctium exspectat, ut scribis Aledium dicere, navigaturus videtur. Mihi autem dixerat per Siciliam. Utrum et quando, velim scire. Et velim aliquando, cum erit tuum commodum, Lentulum puerum visas eique de mancipiis, quae tibi videbitur, attribuas. Piliae, Atticae salutem.
[71]. ita Tyrrell: ei MSS.
please her; I have no interest in the matter, except that you know of, which I consider important.
You call me back to my old way of life. Well, I have long been bewailing the loss of the Republic, and that was what I was doing, though less strongly; for I had one harbour of refuge. Now I positively cannot follow my old way of life and employment; nor do I think I ought to care what others think about that. My own conscience is more to me than all their talk. For the consolation I have sought in writing, I am not discontented with my measure of success. It has made me show my grief less; but the grief itself I could not lessen, nor would I, if I could.