84nihil in mentem venit. Quod scribis te vereri, ne et gratia et auctoritas nostra hoc meo maerore minuatur, ego, quid homines aut reprehendant aut postulent, nescio. Ne doleam? Qui potest? Ne iaceam? Quis umquam minus? Dum tua me domus levabat, quis a me exclusus? quis venit, qui offenderet? Asturam sum a te profectus. Legere isti laeti, qui me reprehendunt, tam multa non possunt, quam ego scripsi. Quam bene, nihil ad rem, sed genus scribendi id fuit, quod nemo abiecto animo facere posset. Triginta dies in hortis fui. Quis aut congressum meum aut facilitatem sermonis desideravit? Nunc ipsum ea lego, ea scribo, ut ii, qui mecum sunt, difficilius otium ferant quam ego laborem. Si quis requirit, cur Romae non sim: quia discessus est; cur non sim in eis meis praediolis, quae sunt huius temporis; quia frequentiam illam non facile ferrem. Ibi sum igitur, ubi is, qui optimas Baias habebat, quotannis hoc tempus consumere solebat. Cum Romam venero, nec vultu nec oratione reprehendar. Hilaritatem illam, qua hanc tristitiam temporum condiebamus, in perpetuum amisi, constantia et firmitas nec animi nec orationis requiretur.
De hortis Scapulanis hoc videtur effici posse, aliud tua gratia, aliud nostra, ut praeconi subiciantur. Id nisi fit, excludemur. Sin ad tabulam venimus, vincemus
Nothing occurs to me. You say you are afraid my influence and my authority will be lessened by this sorrow of mine. For my part I don't see what people are complaining of or what they expect of me. Not to grieve? How is that possible! Not to be prostrated? No one was ever less prostrated. While I sought relief in your house, I was at home to every caller; and no one, who came, felt in the way. I came to Astura straight from you. Those cheerful friends of yours who blame me cannot read as much as I have written. How well it is written is not to the point, but it was a kind of writing that no one whose spirit was broken could do. I have been thirty days in these gardens. Who has failed to get access to me or conversation with me? At this very moment I am writing and reading so much that the people with me find the holiday harder work than I find working. If anyone asks why I am not in town, "because it is the vacation": why I am not at one of my little places, where it is now the season, "because I could not put up with the crowd of visitors." So I am staying where the man, who prized Baiae more than anyone, always used to spend this part of the year. When I come to Rome, they shall have nothing to find fault with in my looks or my conversation. The cheerfulness with which I used to temper the sadness of the times, I have lost for ever: but there shall be no lack of courage and firmness in my bearing or my words.
As to Scapula's gardens, it seems possible that, as a favour, partly to you and partly to me, they may be put up at auction. If not, we are cut out. But, if it comes to an auction, my eagerness
86facultates Othonis nostra cupiditate. Nam, quod ad me de Lentulo scribis, non est in eo. Faberiana modo res certa sit, tuque enitare, quod facis, quod volumus, consequemur.
Quod quaeris, quam diu hic: paucos dies. Sed certum non habeo. Simul ac constituero, ad te scribam, et tu ad me, quam diu in suburbano sis futurus. Quo die ego ad te haec misi, de Pilia et Attica mihi quoque eadem, quae scribis, et scribuntur et nuntiantur.
XLI
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
Scr. Asturae V Id. Mai. a. 709
Nihil erat, quod scriberem. Scire tamen volebam, ubi esses; si abes aut afuturus es, quando rediturus esses. Facies igitur certiorem. Et, quod tu scire volebas, ego quando ex hoc loco, postridie Idus Lanuvi constitui manere, inde postridie in Tusculano aut Romae. Utrum sim facturus, eo ipso die scies.
Scis, quam sit φιλαίτιον συμφορά, minime in te quidem, sed tamen avide sum adfectus de fano, quod nisi non dico effectum erit, sed fieri videro (audebo hoc dicere, et tu, ut soles, accipies), incursabit in te dolor meus, non iure ille quidem, sed tamen feres hoc ipsum, quod scribo, ut omnia mea fers ac tulisti. Omnes tuas consolationes unam hanc in rem velim conferas. Si quaeris, quid optem, primum Scapulae,