A Caesare litteras accepi consolatorias datas pridie Kal. Maias Hispali. De urbe augenda quid sit promulgatum, non intellexi. Id scire sane velim. Torquato nostra officia grata esse facile patior eaque augere non desinam. Ad Ligarianam de uxore Tuberonis et privigna neque possum iam addere (est enim pervulgata) neque Tuberonem volo offendere; mirifice est enim φιλαίτιος. Theatrum quidem sane bellum habuisti. Ego, etsi hoc loco facillime sustentor, tamen te videre cupio. Itaque, ut constitui, adero. Fratrem credo a te esse conventum. Scire igitur studeo, quid egeris.
De fama nihil sane laboro; etsi scripseram ad te tunc stulte "nihil melius"; curandum enim non est. Atque hoc "in omni vita sua quemque a recta conscientia traversum unguem non oportet discedere" viden quam φιλοσόφως? An tu nos frustra existimas haec in manibus habere? Δεδῆχθαι te nollem, quod nihil erat. Redeo enim rursus eodem. Quicquamne me putas curare in toto,[[114]] nisi ut ei ne desim? Id ago scilicet, ut iudicia videar tenere. "Μὴ γὰρ αὐτοῖς—." Vellem tam domestica ferre possem quam ista contemnere.
[114]. For in toto many suggestions have been made (e.g. in Torquato Müller: in Bruto Schmidt), and for ei Wieland suggested mihi.
XX
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
Arpinum, July 2 or 3, B.C. 45
I have received a letter of consolation from Caesar, posted on the last of April at Hispalis. I did not understand what the proposals for improving the city are; and I should much like to know. I am not displeased that Torquatus is satisfied with my attentions, and I shall not cease to increase them. To the speech for Ligarius I cannot add anything now about Tubero's[[115]] wife and step-daughter, since the speech is widely circulated, and I do not wish to offend Tubero; for he is most touchy. You certainly had a good audience. Though I am happy enough here, I am longing to see you; so I shall come as arranged. I think you have met my brother; so I am anxious to know what happened.
[115]. Tubero was the prosecutor of Ligarius.
About my reputation I don't care a straw; though I did once write to you foolishly that there was nothing better; for it is not worth bothering about. And see what deep philosophy there is in this other sentiment of mine, "In all one's life one ought not to stray a nail's breadth from the straight path of conscience." Do you think I am engaged in philosophical treatises for nothing? I should be sorry for you to distress yourself about a mere nothing. Now I come back to my point. Do you suppose I care for anything in the whole matter, except that I should not be untrue to it.[[116]] I am striving, it seems then, to maintain my position in the law courts. God forbid! Would I could bear my private sorrow as easily as I despise them. But do
[116]. The sense and the reading of this sentence are very doubtful.
144Putas autem me voluisse aliquid, quod perfectum non sit? Non licet scilicet sententiam suam, sed tamen, quae tum acta sunt, non possum non probare, et tamen non curare pulchre possum, sicuti facio. Sed nimium multa de nugis.