It was a very miserable time to him. He made up his mind to get away as soon as possible to California or British Columbia, or anywhere else, so that it was far enough away. But he did not go. He did far better than that would have been. He staid at home, not very willingly, still he staid, and tried to do his duty as he had never tried before, and there were times when it was not easy to do.
Mr Caldwell, as one in whom the creditors had perfect confidence, both as to his conscientiousness and his knowledge of affairs, was appointed by them to settle up Mr Oswald’s business, and with their permission Philip Oswald was requested to act as his assistant for the time. It was not the thing he would have chosen for himself, but if he had gone away now, it must have been without his father’s consent, and if he staid at home it was absolutely necessary that he should earn money for the payment of his own debts. There was nothing better offered for his acceptance, and Mr Caldwell’s terms were such as even Philip considered liberal.
“Though I know quite well he would much rather have had Davie Inglis,” said he to Frank, when it was quite settled that he was to stay. “I don’t believe he thinks I shall be much good. However, I must take it and make the best of it.”
“You are quite wrong. Davie wouldn’t suit him half so well as you in this business, though of course he has perfect confidence in Davie, and you have to be tried yet. But he knows you will make it a point of honour to do your best in the circumstances.”
“If these people in M— had not been such fools as to force matters on, there might have been some inducement to do one’s best in straightening out things. And it would have been better for them and for us too. I wish I were a thousand miles away from it all.”
“No, you don’t, unless you could take the rest, of us out of it too. For my part, I think you have a grand opportunity to exercise courage and patience, and to win honour and glory as a true hero. Just you go down and speak to Aunt Mary and Violet about it.”
“I think I see myself doing it!” said Philip, as though it were a thing utterly impossible and not to be considered for a moment.
However, before many days were over, he found himself at the bridge house, enjoying Mrs Inglis’s kindly sympathy, and the delighted welcome of the children, more than he would have imagined possible. He had seen very little of any of them for a long time, and was ashamed of his defection, conscious as he was of the cause. It was not comfortable for him to talk with Mrs Inglis, or to share in the pursuits and amusements of her young people, with the consciousness of wrong-doing upon him. Wrong-doing according to their standard of right and wrong, he meant, of course. According to his standard, there were many things he could do, and many things he could leave undone, quite innocently, of which they would not approve. Several of such questionable incidents had occurred in his manner of life about the time of their return from Gourlay last year, and he had kept away from them. He had been too busy since his coming back from M— to see much of any of his friends, and this was his first visit to the bridge house for a long time.
“Why did you not come before?” said little Mary.
“I have been very busy. Are you glad to see me now?”