What Every Mother Should Know; or, How Six Little Children Were Taught The Truth

by Margaret Sanger

This is the opportunity to tell how to care for the body. The teeth and nose should be cleansed morning and night. When there is any itching of the rectum or sexual organs this is often caused by uncleanliness and washing of these parts at once will often relieve the irritation.

Teach that no part of the body should be touched unnecessarily by any one, and when there is any discomfort of any kind to come to the mother, who will attend to it. See that no clothing on the child is tight or causes irritation, for this often leads a child to touch and handle himself and forms the habit of masturbation.

This is often acquired innocently, even at the creeping age, and the child becomes a victim and slave to the habit.

Keep a close watch over children for this habit, without making them conscious of it, especially if the child prefers to be alone or remains long in bed in the morning. These are by no means positive symptoms of the habit, only when these signs are present keep your eyes open.

If you do find this habit is formed, keep him up at night until he is sleepy, or at least do not send him off to bed alone when he is not sleepy, to lie and toss about with this temptation. Let someone read to him or tell him interesting stories which will divert his mind so he can fall asleep.

The same in the morning; do not allow children to remain in bed after they have awakened; do not have the bed too soft or the coverings too heavy; the room should be cool and he should lie on his side rather than on the back. Keep his mind busy with interest. Get him to call you whenever he feels the temptation, or to come where others are. If he will trust the mother and together fight this habit, he will soon be the victor. Always it is the same—confidence, confidence, is such a necessary part of the child’s life.

When a child is under four years of age is the ideal time to gain this confidence, for then there is nothing personal in anything you say; all interests are general. There is no shyness or consciousness of sex. If this has been done, when they take up the study of the birds more could be told them of the sexual parts; that as some day he was to be a father he was made differently than mother or sister because he had a different part to do in life’s work. That he must keep well and grow strong in order to do this work. There need be no mystery about the sexual truths; impress upon it the sacredness of the process. There is no greater crime against a child than for a parent to allow a child to flounder about with half truths, gathered from polluted and corrupt associates.

Be deliberate in giving the child the truth, as much of it as he can take at a time, or as little but have it the truth.

You will be confronted with questions concerning the vilest words of the street. Tell him frankly their meaning in your own clean way, and the correct word to use in its place. You will find when his curiosity has been satisfied he will no longer be curious or have any special desire to use these words.

Every child first turns to its mother in confidence for all these questions. Never turn him off with a slight or embarrassed answer; just rely upon your knowledge, your natural knowledge, and answer him. Every mother can do it. Do not make a Sunday School lesson of these teachings, only to be taught once a week on very solemn occasions. Children hate being talked at; just be natural, simple, interesting, informal, and as often as the opportunity arrives.