“Yes, Dick, but you also are married and also have a baby and also are doing what you can to help with the Red Cross work and giving all and more than you can afford to the war work! Yet you are not content to let the other fellows do the fighting. Why, you have been trying to enlist ever since the United States entered the war and have been terribly discouraged because you were found to be not up to the physical standard.”
Barbara now slipped down from the arm of her husband’s chair and took a low one of her own. In her dressing gown, with her braids hanging over her shoulders and her chin resting thoughtfully in her hand, she sat apparently deep in thought.
“You know it is a funny thing to me, Dick, why in this world there are in so many cases two rules of conduct, one for a woman and another for a man. I know, of course, that war has always been considered a man’s work, but it is not really, at least not this war. When democracy comes, when it is real democracy, and women have their share in it as well as men, I expect it will mean even more to women. You know when things are hard and unfair and there is much poverty and oppression women have always suffered more. You believe that, don’t you, Dick? I have heard you say so,” Barbara added, with an appealing note, as if she wished to find her husband in sympathy with her on this general subject, if not on the personal one.
“But, Dick, I know, of course, that most women should stay in their own homes and look after their families,” she went on with unusual humility. “I am not a real suffragette. Now when I speak or even think about leaving baby I do feel like a criminal and as if I could not bear it. And yet, oh, Dick, I can be more useful with the Red Cross nursing. How much do I do for baby at present, when your mother insists on his having a trained nurse and keeps him with her at the Long Island place most of the time, because she says New York City is too hot for him in the summer time? And I am so afraid something may happen to him. I allow him to remain away from me because I feel you need me more here in town and because, oh, because I want to be with you even more than with baby, Dick. Do you think I am a very unnatural mother?”
Barbara asked this question so seriously that in spite of his unhappiness and disapproval of her point of view, Dick Thornton laughed aloud.
“You probably are, Bab, but I must say I am glad you still like me as much as you do our son. It is not usual.”
“Then you will let me go to France to take up my Red Cross nursing again, Dick dear, won’t you, so I may be near you if anything happens to you as it did before? I can go to Mildred and Eugenia and so you need not worry about me; perhaps I can cross with Nona. I did not tell her my plan this afternoon because I wanted your consent first. Now don’t you think you ought to permit me to use my conscience since you have decided you must use yours, regardless of my wish? Perhaps my country also needs me, Dick. I am not very important, but do you know I have been thinking recently that what Christ said about, ‘leaving father and mother and giving up everything to follow Him,’ is what most of the countries of the world are also asking of us these days.”
Dick nodded quietly, deciding not to argue with Barbara any more for the present.
Tonight she was in a mood in which few people ever saw her. However, her husband had known her in just such moods before their marriage, in the days when they were both doing Red Cross work in Europe, soon after the outbreak of the war. So, although he could not accept his wife’s suggestion, could not make up his mind that Barbara should again endure the dangers and discomforts of the Red Cross nursing, now that she was his wife and so much nearer and dearer to him, yet he realized that he must discuss the matter with her fairly and squarely. Barbara would not go unless he gave his consent, but she must not feel that he had been arbitrary or selfish in his decision.
“Let us not talk about this any more tonight, Bab. Listen, the clock is striking midnight and we are both tired. However, even if I do give my consent, you know mother and father——”