It is now time to answer the question, "What is to be done with the older child who has received little or no preliminary instruction?"
From eleven to fourteen the boy can be told the facts he needs to know with as much preparatory flower and animal studies as can be made interesting to him. Everything will depend upon his temperament and the kind of information he may have already received. He may be interested; the chances are he will not be, or at least will pretend he is not. In such a case he must be made to listen, and some such preliminary as the following will generally attain the required result.
"There are some things that every man must understand rightly. I want to be sure you understand them, so that you may know the true from the false, the right from the wrong, and will not show yourself ignorant before the world."
Generally to be seriously called a man at this age, or invited to enter the domain of the man, will conquer, and he will listen even though he may pretend not to. It often happens that the boy entering the "contrary age" wants above all things to know, and yet is ashamed to listen. It is generally safer to talk to the boy at this time than to rely wholly upon books to be read by him. Give him the books by all means but talk them over with him, supplementing them in any way that seems best. It may be better for the father to talk to the hitherto uninstructed lad at this age, but where this is not possible then the mother should see that the boy has the information he needs, in the most outreaching form she can bestow it, trying to make him realize the universality of the truth, the fact that every living thing is subject to essentially the same sex laws. It is best for him to feel that both parents understand and are interested in this side of his development, and the mother, even though the father gives the instruction, may be able to show her son that she too knows and cares. It will be much less difficult as a rule for the mother to talk to the girl at this age, and of course there will be many children, both boys and girls, with whom no difficulty will be encountered.
With older children, those perhaps from fourteen to eighteen, yet other methods may need to be pursued. Many youths can be approached without difficulty, and what they need to know can be explained directly to them. Whether this is so or not often depends quite as much on the parent as on the child. Where the mother feels that a direct appeal to the youth would be injudicious she can sometimes gain his interest by indirect methods. If there are younger children she can introduce the subject by saying that she is anxious to have the children instructed properly in this subject, and that she relies upon him to assist her in various ways, and particularly by always understanding what she is doing, and adding the weight of his influence as an older brother. She can then consult him as to the best way of going to work, explaining about the botany work and what she hopes to gain by using it, all the time taking for granted that he knows everything. If he is interested, she can explain all to him in this way, opening the door to certain other information she must be sure that he has. Of course she may be able to relegate all this instruction to the child's father, but if for any reason this is not possible, the boy must get his help either directly or indirectly from her; and in any case if it is possible to associate him with her in the task of enlightening and helping his younger brothers it may give a certain definiteness of thought on the subject, and, what is of more importance, a sense of responsibility in regard to it. It will also help him to a realization of the universal nature of the manifestation of this side of life. By occasional appeals to his sympathy and help as time goes on and getting him to read certain books in order to help her to decide whether they would help the others, she may be able to do him an incalculable benefit. Even though he may argue against instruction, that will give an opportunity to put in his way sources of knowledge, and if he does not feel inclined to read the books recommended they can be left in his way where he can read them without being detected, which he will be apt to do. Generally young people are eager for instruction, though where they have been neglected and have formed false ideas and ideals they sometimes become perverse, particularly toward members of their own family. This may often be due to fear in one form or another, and the wise parent will leave no means untried to give the youth somehow the help he needs. Many parents feel it wise to give the youth some good book on the subject suited to his age, a book of his own which he can keep in his room to consult whenever he is puzzled or doubtful about his rule of conduct.
XII
VIGILANCE
That the facts concerning the normal reproductive life throughout nature can be presented in such a way as to create a worthy image in the mind of the learner there can be no doubt.
The question naturally arises, "Is this enough to insure morality and personal purity in the youth?" Few knowing the tendency of the age would hesitate to say most emphatically that it is not enough.