Dr. X—— was going to interrupt her, but she continued rapidly, “And now, my dear doctor, tell me candidly, have you seen any symptoms of cowardice in my manner this evening?”
“None,” replied he. “On the contrary, I have admired your calm self-possession.”
“Then do not suspect me of want of fortitude, when I request that this operation may not be performed to-day. I have changed my mind within these few hours. I have determined, for a reason which I am sure that you would feel to be sufficient, to postpone this affair till to-morrow. Believe me, I do not act from caprice.”
She saw that Dr. X—— did not yield assent to her last assertion, and that he looked displeased.
“I will tell you my reason,” said she; “and then you will have no right to be displeased if I persist, as I shall inflexibly, in my determination. It is my belief that I shall die this night. To submit to a painful operation to-day would be only to sacrifice the last moments of my existence to no purpose. If I survive this night, manage me as you please! But I am the best judge of my own feelings—I shall die to-night.”
Dr. X—— looked at her with a mixture of astonishment and compassion. Her pulse was high, she was extremely feverish, and he thought that the best thing which he could do was to stay with her till the next day, and to endeavour to divert her mind from this fancy, which he considered as an insane idea. He prevailed upon the surgeon to stay with her till the next morning; and he communicated his intentions to Belinda, who joined with him in doing all that was possible to entertain and interest her by conversation during the remainder of the day. She had sufficient penetration to perceive that they gave not the least faith to her prognostic, and she never said one word more upon the subject; but appeared willing to be amused by their attempts to divert her, and resolute to support her courage to the last moment. She did not affect trifling gaiety: on the contrary, there was in all she said more strength and less point than usual.
The evening passed away, and Lady Delacour seemed totally to have forgotten her own prophecy respecting the event of the ensuing night; so much so, that she spoke of several things that she intended to do the next day. Helena knew nothing of what had passed, and Belinda imagined that her friend put this constraint upon herself to avoid alarming her daughter. Yet, after Helena retired, her mother’s manner continued to be so much the same, that Dr. X—— began to believe that her ladyship was actuated merely by caprice. In this opinion she confirmed him by bursting out a laughing when he proposed that some one should sit up with her during the night.
“My sage sir,” said she, “have you lived to this time without ever having been duped by a woman before? I wanted a day’s reprieve, and I have gained it—gained a day, spent in most agreeable conversation, for which I thank you. To-morrow,” said she, turning to the surgeon, “I must invent some new excuse for my cowardice; and though I give you notice of it beforehand, as Harrington did when he picked the man’s pocket, yet, nevertheless, I shall succeed. Good night!”
She hurried to her own apartment, leaving them all in astonishment and perplexity. Belinda was persuaded that she only affected this gaiety to prevent Dr. X—— from insisting upon sitting up in her room, as he had proposed. Doctor X——, judging, as he said, from her ladyship’s general character, attributed the whole to caprice; and the surgeon, judging, as he said, from human nature in general, was decided in his belief that she had been influenced, as she herself declared, by cowardice. After having all expressed their opinions, without making any impression upon one another, they retired to rest.
Belinda’s bedchamber was next to Helena’s; and after she had been in bed about an hour, she fancied that she heard some one walking softly in the next room. She rose, and found Lady Delacour standing beside her daughter’s bed. She started at the sight of Belinda, but only said in a low voice, as she pointed to her child, “Don’t waken her.” She then looked at her for some moments in silence. The moon shone full upon her face. She stooped over Helena, parted the ringlets of hair upon her forehead, and kissed her gently.