Alarmed by the rapid progress of these evils, Mr. and Mrs. Montague, who, from the first day that they had been honoured with Mrs. Tattle’s visit, had begun to look out for new lodgings, were now extremely impatient to decamp. They were not people who, from the weak fear of offending a silly acquaintance, would hazard the happiness of their family. They had heard of a house in the country which was likely to suit them, and they determined to go directly to look at it. As they were to be absent all day, they foresaw that their officious neighbour would probably interfere with their children. They did not choose to exact any promise from them which they might be tempted to break, and therefore they only said at parting, “If Mrs. Theresa Tattle should ask you to come to her, do as you think proper.”
Scarcely had Mrs. Montague’s carriage got out of hearing when a note was brought, directed to “Frederick Montague, Junior, Esq.,” which he immediately opened, and read as follows:—
“Mrs. Theresa Tattle presents her very best compliments to the entertaining Mr. Frederick Montague; she hopes he will have the charity to drink tea with her this evening, and bring his charming sister, Miss Marianne, with him, as Mrs. Theresa will be quite alone with a shocking headache, and is sensible her nerves are affected; and Dr. Cardamum says that (especially in Mrs. T. T.’s case) it is downright death to nervous patients to be alone an instant. She therefore trusts Mr. Frederick will not refuse to come and make her laugh. Mrs. Theresa has taken care to provide a few macaroons for her little favourite, who said she was particularly fond of them the other day. Mrs. Theresa hopes they will all come at six, or before, not forgetting Miss Sophy, if she will condescend to be of the party.”
At the first reading of this note, “the entertaining” Mr. Frederick, and the “charming” Miss Marianne laughed heartily, and looked at Sophy, as if they were afraid that she should think it possible they could like such gross flattery; but upon a second perusal, Marianne observed that it certainly was very good-natured of Mrs. Theresa to remember the macaroons; and Frederick allowed that it was wrong to laugh at the poor woman because she had the headache. Then twisting the note in his fingers, he appealed to Sophy:—
“Well, Sophy, leave off drawing for an instant,” said Frederick, “and tell us what answer can we send?”
“Can!—we can send what answer we please.”
“Yes, I know that,” said Frederick. “I would refuse if I could; but we ought not to do anything rude, should we? So I think we might as well go, because we could not refuse, if we would, I say.”
“You have made such confusion,” replied Sophy, “between ‘couldn’t’ and ‘wouldn’t’ and ‘shouldn’t,’ that I can’t understand you; surely they are all different things.”
“Different! no,” cried Frederick—“could, would, should, might, and ought, are all the same thing in the Latin grammar; all of ’em signs of the potential mood, you know.”
Sophy, whose powers of reasoning were not to be confounded, even by quotations from the Latin grammar, looked up soberly from her drawing, and answered “that very likely those words might be signs of the same thing in the Latin grammar, but she believed that they meant perfectly different things in real life.”