[Frederick sings, after much preluding.]
Violante in the pantry,
Gnawing of a mutton-bone;
How she gnawed it,
How she claw’d it,
When she found herself alone!
“Charming!” exclaimed Mrs. Tattle; “so like Miss Croker, I’m sure I shall think of you, Mr. Frederick, when I hear her asked to sing again. Her voice, however, introduces her to very pleasant parties, and she’s a girl that’s very much taken notice of, and I don’t doubt will go off vastly well. She’s a particular favourite of mine, you must know; and I mean to do her a piece of service the first opportunity, by saying something or other, that shall go round to her relations in Northumberland, and make them do something for her; as well they may, for they are all rolling in gold, and won’t give her a penny.”
Mar. Now, brother, read the newspaper like Counsellor Puff.
“Oh, pray do, Mr. Frederick, for I declare I admire you of all things! You are quite yourself to-night. Here’s a newspaper, sir, pray let us have Counsellor Puff. It’s not late.”
[Frederick reads in a pompous voice.]
“As a delicate white hand has ever been deemed a distinguishing ornament in either sex, Messrs. Valiant and Wise conceive it to be their duty to take the earliest opportunity to advertise the nobility and gentry of Great Britain in general, and their friends in particular, that they have now ready for sale, as usual, at the Hippocrates’ Head, a fresh assortment of new-invented, much admired, primrose soap. To prevent impositions and counterfeits, the public are requested to take notice, that the only genuine primrose soap is stamped on the outside, ‘Valiant and Wise.’”
“Oh, you most incomparable mimic! ’tis absolutely the counsellor himself. I absolutely must show you, some day, to my friend Lady Battersby; you’d absolutely make her die with laughing; and she’d quite adore you,” said Mrs. Theresa, who was well aware that every pause must be filled with flattery. “Pray go on, pray go on. I shall never be tired, if I sit looking at you these hundred years.”
Stimulated by these plaudits, Frederick proceeded to show how Colonel Epaulette blew his nose, flourished his cambric handkerchief, bowed to Lady Diana Periwinkle, and admired her work, saying, “Done by no hands, as you may guess, but those of Fairly Fair.” Whilst Lady Diana, he observed, simpered so prettily, and took herself so quietly for Fairly Fair, not perceiving that the colonel was admiring his own nails all the while.
Next to Colonel Epaulette, Frederick, at Marianne’s particular desire, came into the room like Sir Charles Slang.