“Can I assist you sir?” he inquired deferentially.
I stared at him,—then burst into a laugh.
“Assist me? Why no!—you can do nothing. I want rest, ... and I cannot sleep here, ... the air is too close and sulphureous,——the very stars are burning hot! ...” I paused,—he regarded me with his usual gravely derisive expression. “I am going down to my cabin”—I continued, trying to speak more calmly——“I shall be alone there ... perhaps!” Again I laughed wildly and involuntarily, and staggered away from him down the deck-stairs, afraid to look back lest I should see those Three Figures of fate following me.
Once safe in my cabin I shut to the door violently, and in feverish haste, seized my case of pistols. I took out one and loaded it. My heart was beating furiously,—I kept my eyes fixed on the ground, lest they should encounter the dead eyes of Sibyl.
“One click of the trigger—” I whispered—“and all is over! I shall be at peace,—senseless,—sightless and painless. Horrors can no longer haunt me, ... I shall sleep!”
I raised the weapon steadily to my right temple, ... when suddenly my cabin-door opened, and Lucio looked in.
[p 456]
“Pardon me!” he said, as he observed my attitude—“I had no idea you were busy! I will go away. I would not disturb you for the world!”
His smile had something fiendish in its fine mockery;—moved with a quick revulsion of feeling I turned the pistol downwards and held its muzzle firmly against the table near me.
“You say that!” I exclaimed in acute anguish,—“you say it—seeing me thus! I thought you were my friend!”
He looked full at me, ... his eyes grew large and luminous with a splendour of scorn, passion and sorrow intermingled.