Your friend
Mavis Clare.
A mist came before my eyes,—I almost felt her gentle presence in my room,—I saw the tender look, the radiant smile,—the innocent yet earnest joy in life and love of purity that emanated from the fair personality of the sweetest woman I had ever known. She called herself my friend!—... it was a privilege of which I felt myself unworthy! I folded the letter and put it near my heart to serve me as a talisman, ... she, of all bright creatures in the world surely knew the secret of happiness! ... Some-day, ... yes, ... I would go and see her, ... my Mavis that sang in her garden of lilies,—some day when I had force and manliness enough to tell her all,—save my love for her! For that, I felt, must never be spoken,—Self must resist Self, and clamour no more at the gate of a forfeited Paradise! Some day I would see her, ... but not for a long time, ... not till I had, in part at least, worked out my secret expiation. As I sat musing thus, a strange memory came into my brain, ... I thought I heard a voice resembling my own, which said—
“Lift, oh lift the shrouding veil, spirit of the City Beautiful! For I feel I shall read in your eyes the secret of happiness!”
A cold shudder ran through me,—I sprang up erect, in a kind of horror. Leaning at my open window I looked down into the busy street below,—and my thoughts reverted to the strange things I had seen in the East,—the face of the dead Egyptian dancer, uncovered to the light again after two thousand years,—the face of Sibyl!—then I remembered the vision of the “City Beautiful,” in which one face had remained veiled,—the face I most desired to see!——and I trembled more and more as my mind, despite my will, began to weave together links of the past and present, till they seemed growing into one and the same. Was I again to be the prey of evil forces?——did some new danger [p 486] threaten me?—had I, by some unconscious wicked wish invited new temptation to assail me?
Overcome by my sensations, I left my work and went out into the fresh air, ... it was late at night,—and the moon was shining. I felt for the letter of Mavis,—it pressed against my heart, a shield against all vileness. The room I occupied was in a house not far from Westminster Abbey, and I instinctively bent my steps towards that grey old shrine of kings and poets dead. The square around it was almost deserted,——I slackened my pace, strolling meditatively along the narrow paved way that forms a short cut across into Old Palace Yard, ... when suddenly a Shadow crossed my path, and looking up, I came face to face with——Lucio! The same as ever,—the perfect impersonation of perfect manhood! ... his countenance, pale, proud, sorrowful yet scornful, flashed upon me like a star!——he looked full at me, and a questioning smile rested on his lips!
My heart almost stopped beating, ... I drew a quick sharp breath, ... again I felt for the letter of Mavis, and then, ... meeting his gaze fixedly and straightly in my turn, I moved slowly on in silence. He understood,—his eyes flashed with the jewel-like strange brilliancy I knew so well, and so well remembered,—and drawing back he stood aside and—let me pass! I continued my walk steadily, though dazed and like one in a dream,—till reaching the shadowed side of the street opposite the Houses of Parliament, I stopped for a moment to recover my startled senses. There again I saw him!——the superb man’s form,—the Angel’s face,—the haunting, splendid sorrowful eyes!——he came with his usual ease and grace of step into the full moonlight and paused,—apparently waiting for some one. For me?—ah no!—I kept the name of God upon my lips,—I gathered all the strength of faith within my soul,—and though I was wholesomely afraid of Myself, I feared no other foe! I lingered therefore—watching;—and presently I saw a few members of Parliament walking singly and in groups towards the House,—one or two greeted the tall dark Figure as a friend and familiar, and others knew him not. [p 487] Still he waited on, ... and so did I. At last, just as Big Ben chimed the quarter to eleven, one man whom I instantly recognised as a well-known Cabinet minister, came walking briskly towards the House, ... then, and then only, He, whom I had known as Lucio, advanced smiling. Greeting the minister cordially, in that musical rich voice I knew of old, he took his arm,—and they both walked on slowly, talking earnestly. I watched them till their figures receded in the moonlight, ... the one tall, kingly and commanding, ... the other burly and broad, and self-assertive in demeanour;—I saw them ascend the steps, and finally disappear within the House of England’s Imperial Government,—Devil and Man,—together!
Transcriber’s Note
Inconsistent hyphenation and word boundaries have been retained: any rate/anyrate, bluebells/blue-bells, commonplace/common-place, deathlike/death-like, goodwill/good-will, honeysuckle/honey-suckle, Maypole/May-pole, notepaper/note-paper, nowadays/now-a-days, overhead/over-head, Pall Mall/Pall-Mall, pocket book/pocketbook/pocket-book, someone/some-one, Supernatural/Super-natural, uplifted/up-lifted.