“It was,” I answered drily—“It isn’t now.”
Then, his utterly bewildered look, together with the whole topsy-turviness of things in my altered position, struck me so forcibly that I burst out laughing, wildly, and with a prolonged noise and violence that apparently alarmed him, for he began looking nervously about him in all directions as if meditating flight. I caught him by the arm.
“Look here man,” I said, trying to conquer my almost hysterical mirth—“I’m not mad—don’t you think it,—I’m only a—millionaire!” And I began laughing again; the situation seemed to me so sublimely ridiculous. But the worthy publisher did not see it at all—and his features expressed so much genuine alarm that I made a further effort to control myself and succeeded. “I assure you on my word of honour I’m not joking—it’s a fact. Last night I wanted a dinner, and you, like a good fellow, offered to give me one,—to-day I possess five millions of money! Don’t stare so! don’t have a fit of apoplexy! And as I have told you, I shall publish my book myself at my own expense, and it shall succeed! Oh I’m in earnest, grim earnest, grim as death!—I’ve more than enough in my pocketbook to pay for its publication now!”
I loosed my hold of him, and he fell back stupefied
and confused.
“God bless my soul!” he muttered feebly—“It’s like a dream!—I was never more astonished in my life!”
[p 52]
“Nor I!” I said, another temptation to laughter threatening my composure,—“But strange things happen in life, as in fiction. And that book which the builders—I mean the readers—rejected, shall be the headstone of the corner—or—the success of the season! What will you take to bring it out?”
“Take? I? I bring it out!”
“Yes, you—why not? If I offer you a chance to turn an honest penny shall your paid pack of ‘readers’ prevent your accepting it? Fie! you are not a slave,—this is a free country. I know the kind of people who ‘read’ for you,—the gaunt unlovable spinster of fifty,—the dyspeptic book-worm who is a ‘literary failure’ and can find nothing else to do but scrawl growling comments on the manuscript of promising work,—why in heaven’s name should you rely on such incompetent opinion? I’ll pay you for the publication of my book at as stiff a price as you choose and something over for good-will. And I guarantee you another thing—it shall not only make my name as an author, but yours as a publisher. I’ll advertise
royally, and I’ll work the press. Everything in this world can be done for money ...”