The work at the college continued to be unsatisfactory to me, and the year 1862, which was to become of such great importance to womankind in general and to me in special, opened in the usual prosaic custom then prevailing, namely, with every day filled with routine work.
However, I felt very excited, as well as very uncertain how to shape my plans and prospects, for I had decided to leave the college and its little hospital at the close of the term in March. I had communicated my intention to the directors of the college at the close of the year of my engagement, in June, 1861.
One of the most interested of the directors was Mr. Samuel E. Sewall. He asked me what my reasons were for giving up the position, and I replied in a letter to him of which I here make a copy:
About two years have passed since I became connected with the New England Female Medical College. Twice I have signed the diplomas of the graduating class, both times with reluctance and under protest.
My work as teacher in the college and as physician in the medical department has not been performed with that ease which is the result of a mutual understanding of all engaged in the same purpose, nor has it given me satisfaction.
Not one of my expectations for a thorough medical education for women has been realized; indeed, I could not even do what has been in my power heretofore, namely, discountenance as physicians those women who do not deserve that name. On the contrary, I am obliged by the resolve of the majority to put my name to diplomas which justify the holders in presenting themselves to the community as fitted to practice.
If it were the intention of the trustees to supply the country with underbred, ill-educated women under the name of physicians in order to force the regular schools of medicine to open their doors for the few fitted to study, so as to bring an end to an institution from which are poured forth indiscriminately “Doctors of Medicine,” I think the New England Female Medical College is on the right track.
Allow me to say a few words about the school in justification of this. To a critical observer, it will soon become apparent that the majority of the class of students could be made to be only good nurses; whilst some might become respectable midwives; and a very few, physicians. Yet we have to give the diploma of “Doctor of Medicine” to all, after they have passed the legal time in study.
After the first year of my work here had expired, I hoped to effect a change by remonstrating in the faculty meeting against the admission of all sorts of women, old and young, with and without common sense, and the distribution of diplomas to them all.
But I found very little support, and I was told that it would be hard to disappoint some women who had perseveringly labored for a diploma. According to my ideas, which agree, I know, with the ideas of the profession generally, perseverance alone does not entitle persons to receive a diploma. Even should a disappointment prove to be a deathblow to the student, it is better that one should die rather than receive permission to kill many.
It will be perceived by you that these circumstances are not such as to make success possible, and consequently they cannot make me contented in my position. I therefore ask you to accept my resignation as soon as the time expires for which I agreed to remain.
Knowing well how difficult it is to find a suitable professor for a college for women, I thought it well to inform you of my intention a full year in advance. Yet should you find a desirable person to fill my place before that time, I wish you to remember that I shall be thankful to be released from duties which are burdensome and unsatisfactory in result.
I hope that you will not consider this an impulsive or rash step, and in order to convince you of the deliberation with which I have made this decision, and my firm determination not to alter it, I hope that you will allow me an opportunity to state to you personally, more fully, my views of the condition of the school under your patronage.
Respectfully,
Marie E. Zakrzewska
Mr. Sewall gave me this opportunity, especially because as a lawyer he wished to explain to me that this letter could not be presented to the directors and trustees of the college, as it suggested many points which would necessarily lead to legal investigations and which would involve us all in a notoriety absolutely fatal to the whole cause.
Yet I felt that no malicious intent was in me to injure the school or any one. I simply expressed my opinion and the opinion of professional men outside the college, who would not countenance the school nor assist me personally so long as my connection with it lasted.
But in consequence of Mr. Sewall’s opinion, I resigned at the end of the college term without giving any other reason than that I felt not contented in my position.
This led to many meetings of the trustees as a number of them were anxious to retain my services, especially as the hospital department depended so largely upon my superintendence. On the other hand, a number, under the leadership of the secretary, Samuel Gregory (who had already pronounced against such innovations as microscope, thermometer, test tubes, etc., as proof of incapacity to recognize the ailments of patients), tried to convince the others that “foreigners” are not fit for American institutions, as they invariably are pedants and too rude to treat the free American woman with that courtesy to which she is accustomed.
Mr. Gregory brought proof of this declaration by calling before the meetings several of the women students who were opposed to me because I had frankly told them that they might in time become good nurses.
He also tried to convince the directors, who were in great financial straits, that the school had existed for ten years without such an expensive experiment as a hospital department, and that, by my leaving, this would be discontinued as a matter of course.