Teacher—Now we will have an essay on Christmas by Virgil Vale. Virgil wrote this all by himself out of his own head an’ it is very, very good (Virgil walks to the front with long strides, smoothes his hair, fixes his collar, straightens his coat, blows his nose, then takes a paper from his pocket and reads; high tone and sing-song).
Virgil—Christmas is a very nice day. It comes on the 25th day of December. Christmas is when Santa Claus comes with presents. Christmas is when we hang up our stockings to get presents. Christmas is when we have Christmas trees with presents on. Christmas is when folks has company or goes visitin’. On Christmas day folks say Merry Christmas to each other. Christmas day don’t last long but it is a long time gettin’ here. It is more blessed to give Christmas than to receive it. Christmas is a merry day (bows low and takes seat).
Teacher—That was fine, Virgil.
Mr. Judd (nodding head)—Very good, very good!
Mrs. Hill—I couldn’t a wrote a better one myself.
Teacher—Now we will have a piece by Ole Swanson.
Ole (much scared)—Teacher, I aint ban feel very gude—I don’t gass I ban speakin’ my piece today. I—I skall got awfully yumpin’ tooths aching, teacher.
Teacher—Oh, now, Ole, you can speak. Your tooth doesn’t ache.
Ole—Teacher, please, I ban gotting such a headache I aint skall ban feelings gude, teacher. I no skall ban able to speakings, teacher.
Teacher—Then I shall tell your mother not to give you any Christmas present.