The Power of Sexual Surrender

by Marie Nyswander Robinson

The first position, of course, is the ventro-ventral (or face to face) position, with the man on top and the woman on the bottom with her knees up. Not even the most puritanically reared person will demur at this position, for it is the classical sexual position used in our society.

It is, if used properly, perhaps the best position for sexual union. It allows for deep penetration of the vagina by the penis, and because it leaves the pelvic regions of both partners free, it allows for variety in sexual movement, though the man has more freedom of movement in this position than the woman.

There’s an old but apt joke about this position. A young chorus girl asks an older one what her definition of a gentleman is. The older one promptly replies: “One who leans on his elbows.” Men should remember that this fact can be pertinent. The full weight of the heavy man can be quite tiring even to a very passionate woman.

A pleasant variant of this position can be achieved if a pillow is placed under the buttocks of the woman before intercourse. If it is placed a little toward the small of the back, those women who receive preliminary pleasure from friction between the clitoris and the penis will find the contact easier to effect. If it is placed a bit forward it will be very exciting to those who get a great deal of sensation from pressure of the penis against the posterior walls of the vagina.

Generally in this classical position the woman simply spreads her legs and raises them (lying with the legs straight down makes vaginal entrance difficult for the male). Those who enjoy stimulation of the posterior vaginal wall may lock their legs around their partner’s hips. Those who in the initial stages of intercourse are most aroused by clitoral stimulation may close their legs; in this position the man is half kneeling, straddling his partner’s hips. This latter position is not too comfortable for the man if it is maintained for long. A less arduous position for the man is achieved if he straddles one of his partner’s legs and enters the vagina at a slightly oblique angle. This allows the woman to close the leg that is free, which gives maximum contact of all portions of the vulva with the penis.

The next major position reverses the top-bottom roles. The woman, in this variant, is on the top, the man on the bottom.

Many couples feel inhibited about this position. The man will often feel “feminized,” the woman “masculinized.” Such relativistic concepts of what is male and what is female could actually have any application only if this were the chief position in which a couple had intercourse. And even this fact could be altered by circumstance; for example, the woman might be physically very small and the man very large and heavy.

This position is adopted either as a spontaneous change for variety’s sake or because the woman may be feeling far more energetic than the man at the moment; the partner on top, of course, does the major portion of the moving. Psychologically this position can represent an expression of tenderness on the woman’s part. If her husband feels sensual but fatigued, she can give him pleasure without making it necessary for him to develop the usual amount of male aggressiveness. Such a passive role can be exciting to a man on occasion, and he should allow himself to indulge it.

In this position the woman may straddle her husband’s hips; this occasions very deep penetration, and may be particularly pleasurable because since she is in charge she may feel freer to exert more than the usual pressure of the penis against the cervix. In this position, too, she may lie on top of her husband, her legs supported by his, or she may lie between his legs. In these two latter positions the clitoris can be brought into very close contact with the penis, and this is of course very pleasant for women who become aroused in this fashion.

Another alternative for love-making is the face to face and sideways position. In this position, since the woman is generally the lighter of the two, one of her legs is placed over the man’s hips; this allows him to insert his penis at a slightly oblique angle. Pillows for head and shoulder are generally necessary if this position is maintained for the entire intercourse.