“Yes,” sez he, “you know our land jines on the under 215 side. China jines my paster in the middle, though owin’ to the way our land lays we can’t neighbor much, and,” sez he, “you’re enough sight better neighbors than some I’ve got, your folks are old settlers and have always tended to their own bizness and kep’ their cattle and hens to hum, which is more than I can say for all the neighbors whose land jines mine.”
But I could see that the ladies-in-waitin’ wuz oneasy at havin’ a man talkin’ to ’em so free and I kinder advanced in front of him and sez:
“Josiah and I wuz dretful tickled with the idee at first when we spozed that conference meant real p-e-a-c-e and tryin’ to bring the most beautiful gift of God and joy of heaven nigher to earth. Why, it jest riz us right up, we felt so highly tickled with it. But when we see ’em begin to spell it p-i-e-c-e, and quarrel over the pieces, why, then we turned right agin ’em. Why, good land! even if it wuz right, Josiah has got all the land he wants to work and more too, and as I tell him, what is the use of him or the nation havin’ a great lot of land to stand idle and pay taxes on, and keep a gang of hired men to watch. Men and nations can git land poor, I believe.”
I see she liked what I said about the Peace Commission, but I wuz afraid she didn’t git my idee jest right, so I sez, “I believe in the first on’t the Zar’s idee come right down from heaven, filtered into his comprehension mebby through a woman’s apprehension. But you know how it is, Si Ann, in the berry lot now if there are bushes hangin’ full of big ones jest over the fence and somebody else is gittin’ ’em all, you kinder want to jine in and git some on ’em yourself, though you may be a perfesser and singin’ a Sam tune at the time, specially if the fence is broke down that separates you. I can see how it wuz with that Piece Commission and make allowances for ’em, but we didn’t have a thing to do with it and we don’t want any of the pieces.” My axent carried conviction with it; I see she looked relieved. She didn’t 216 say it right out, but I felt that we hadn’t fell in her estimation, and I went on:
“And I don’t want you to blame Uncle Sam either, Si Ann. I believe he will help you all he can, help you in the right way, too; help you to help yourselves. But your folks have got to brace up and do their part; Uncle Sam will neighbor with you if you give him a chance. He’s real good-hearted, though bein’ so easy and good-natered, he is deceived lots of times and influenced and led around by them that want to make money out of him, such as the trusts and the liquor power. But he stands ready to neighbor with you, and don’t turn your back on him, Si Ann. Don’t do anything to get him huffy, for though he hain’t quick to git mad, he’s got a temper when it’s rousted up.”
She said sunthin’ about Uncle Sam turnin’ her folks out and not lettin’ ’em step their feet on our sile. I couldn’t deny it, and it kinder danted me for a minute how I wuz goin’ to smooth that over, but concluded that as in every other emergency in life, the plain truth wuz the best, and I sez in a real amiable voice:
“Si Ann, there is two sides to that jest as there is to every national and neighborhood quarrel. Uncle Sam hain’t liked the way your folks have acted with him, and though I dare presoom to say he’s some to blame, yet I can see where your folks have missed it. They would flock right over to our place, crowdin’ our own folks out of house and home, and expect Uncle Sam to protect ’em, and then they would jest rake and scrape all they could offen us and go home to spend their money; wouldn’t even leave one of their bones in our ground. They didn’t want to become citizens of the United States, they seemed to kinder want to set down and stand up at the same time, which hain’t reasonable if it is done by an American or a Chinee.”
She said sunthin’ about the masses of other foreigners that Uncle Sam allowed to crowd into our country.
“Well,” sez I, “they’re willin’ to become citizens, the 217 German and English and Irish and Russian and Italian babies grow up Americans. But it wuzn’t so with your folks, Si Ann. From the children’s little pig-tails down to their little wooden shues they wuz clear China, soaked in, dyed in the wool, born so, and as long as their bones hung together and afterwards, clear China. They kep’ themselves jest as fur from American institutions and beliefs as ile stays away from water and wouldn’t mix any more. Their bodies stayed on our shores whilst they could make money out of us. But their souls and minds wuz jest as fur removed from our institutions and constitutions as if they wuz settin’ in Jupiter with their legs hangin’ off. It wuz galdin’ to Uncle Sam and finally he had to stop it. But he didn’t do it out of meanness. He jest had to, for of course you know your own folks come first.”
And thinkin’ mebby I’d been too hash describin’ her folks I went on, “I spoze mebby that high stun wall of yourn has kinder stiffened and hardened the nature of your folks and made it harder for ’em to change. But you’re on the right track now, Si Ann, you have begun to break down that big wall, you’ve begun to be more neighborly. And don’t you ever crouch down and hide behind that great stun wall agin; you jest keep right on bein’ neighborly and Uncle Sam will help you.”