CHAPTER XVI
We wuz all invited one day to dine with a rich Chinaman Robert Strong had got acquainted with in San Francisco. Arvilly didn’t want to go, and offered to keep Tommy with her, and the rest of us went. The house wuz surrounded with a high wall, and we entered through a small door in this wall, and went into a large hall openin’ on a courtyard. The host met us and we set down on a raised seat covered with red cloth under some big, handsome lanterns that wuz hung over our heads. Servants with their hair braided down their backs and with gay dresses on brought in tea––as good as any I ever drank––and pipes. Josiah whispered to me:
“How be I agoin’ to smoke tobacco, Samantha? It will make me sick as death. You know I never smoked anything but a little catnip and mullen for tizik. I wonder if he’s got any catnip by him; I’m goin’ to ask.”
But I kep’ him from it, and told him that we could just put the stems in our mouths, and pretend to smoke enough to be polite.
“Hypocrasy,” sez Josiah, “don’t become a deacon in high standin’. If I pretend to smoke I shall smoke, and take a good pull.” And he leaned back and shut his eyes and took his pipe in his hand, and I guess he drawed on it more than he meant to, for he looked bad, sickish and white round his mouth as anything. But we all walked out into the garden pretty soon and he looked resuscitated.
It was beautiful there; rare flowers and exotics of all kinds, trees that I never see before and lots that I had seen, sparklin’ fountains with gold fish, grottos all lit up by colored 184 lanterns, and little marble tablets with wise sayings. Josiah said he believed they wuz ducks’ tracks, and wondered how ducks ever got up there to make ’em, but the interpreter read some on ’em to us and they sounded first rate. Way up on a artificial rock, higher than the Jonesville steeple, wuz a beautiful pavilion with gorgeous lanterns in it and beautiful bronzes and china.
In the garden wuz growin’ trees, trimmed all sorts of shapes, some on ’em wuz shaped like bird cages and birds wuz singin’ inside of ’em. There wuz one like a jinrikisha with a horse attached, all growin’, and one like a boat, and two or three wuz pagodas with gilt bells hangin’ to ’em, another wuz shaped like a dragon, and some like fish and great birds. It wuz a sight to see ’em, all on ’em a growin’, and some on ’em hundreds of years old. Josiah says to me:
“If I ever live to git home I will surprise Jonesville. I will have our maple and apple trees trimmed in this way if I live. How uneek it will be to see the old snow apple tree turned into a lumber wagon, and the pound sweet into a corn house, and the maples in front of the house you might have a couple on ’em turned into a Goddess of Liberty and a statter of Justice, you are such a hand for them two females,” sez he. “Of course we should have to use cloth for Justice’s eye bandages, and her steelyards I believe Ury and I could trim out, though they might not weigh jest right to the notch.”
And I sez, “Justice has been used to that, to not weighin’ things right, it wouldn’t surprise her.” But I told him it would be sights of work and mebby he’ll give it up.
Soon afterwards we wuz all invited to dinner in this same house. And so ignorant are the Chinese of Jonesville ways that at a dinner the place of honor is at the left instead of the right of the host. Everything that can be in China is topsy tervy and different from us. I wuz chose for that honorable place at the left of our host. We all stood for quite a while, for it is China table etiquette to try to make the guest 185 next to us set down first, but finally we all sot down similtaneous and at the same time. Josiah thinks that it is because China is right down under us the reason that she gits so turned over and strange actin’, but ’tennyrate, endin’ our dinner as we do with sweets, it didn’t surprise me that we begun our dinner by havin’ sweetmeats passed, each one helpin’ ourselves with chop sticks, queer things to handle as I ever see, some like the little sticks I have seen niggers play tunes with. Josiah seemed to enjoy hisen the best that ever wuz, and to my horrow he took both on ’ern in his right hand and begun to play Yankee Doodle on ’em.