Sam. I was hurt by a hen; the first cause was the pup; but they will tell you. (Betsey and Miss Gowdy go up close to him, one on each side.)
Miss G. I will gladly spend hours informing you.
Bet. Let me tell you, deah man.
Ed. I must go; there is a man waiting for me at the gate. Widder Doodle can you command you feelings sufficiently to step into the next room with me and give the particulars.
Wid. D. Oh, yes; Doodle always said I could drive ahead of me as big a drove of particulars as any woman of my size and heft. I was Doodleses wife then, and now I am his widder; I was his widder jest as quick as he was dead; and it hain’t no ways suposeable that I shall ever marry agin.
Exit Editor and Widder Doodle.
Miss G. I must go too. Little Ben has got the croup, and I must be to home. (She goes out.)
Bet. Croup is only a hollow excuse, it is the editor that is drawing of her home.
Tirz. A. Why she can’t ride, he has got a load.
Bet. Oh, she thinks she can walk along side of his wagon, and talk. But I won’t worry over it no more, nor begrech her her privilages. I see, Josiah Allen’s wife, that you need care; and in order to quiet and soothe you, I will read to you; I will do all I can to keep you quiet to-day; and to-morrow mother, and Aunt Maria, and all her family; and Aunt Jane, and her children, will come down and stay all day with you—stay to dinner and supper. They are all to our house a visiting: and mother had rather bring them with her than not. There is eleven of them in all, and they’ll all put in to keep you quiet; and you needn’t make no fuss for them at all, though they all love boiled dinners dearly. And now I will proceed to read to you the longest and most eloquent editorial that has ever appeared in the Augur, written by its noble and eloquent editor. It is six columns in length, and is concerning our relations with Spain.