I no humiliation never more shall know
Sorrow stand off, my tears have all been shed,
For Mrs. Betsey Bobbett Slimpsey’s married now.
Mrs. Peedick. I think I shall have to go Betsey, it is getting late, and being a bride myself, I want to make some changes in my clothing. I shall wear my wedding dress. It is black and white lawn even checks. I wanted to look sort of bridy, and still I wanted to mourn a little at the same time. The white checks means Elder Peedick, the black checks stands for Doodle. For oh, what a man that was.
Sam. Miss Peedick if you don’t take my advice, you’ll see trouble ahead on you. When a widder man or a widder woman, embarks on a new voyage, let ’em burn the ship behind ’em that they sailed round in, in their former voyages. This trying to be a pardner and a mourner at one time is gaulin’ to man or woman. Mournin’ for Doodle was jest as honorable as anything could be; marryin’ Elder Peedick was another honorable job, and you ort to made up your mind which business would be the most happyfyin’ and proftable to you, and then foller it up with a willin’ mind, but don’t try to do both. Betsey, we will be here in good season. I have got a nice presant for you, but bein’ pretty hefty, I shan’t probably bring it to-night. It’s a piller case full of dried apples and a jar of butter. Josiah will bring a sack of flour.
Exit Samantha, Mrs. Peedick and Miss G.
Bet. Come, Mr. Slimpsey, stand up here by me and receive our bridal congratulations.
Simon. You know I can’t stand up, Betsey, not for any length of time, most dead with the rheumatiz.
Bet. My husband, you must.
Simon. Why can’t you stand up there alone and lemme be. I wish you would. I wanted you to go off on a weddin’ tower; you was crazy for one and I told you to go, and I’d stay to home and tend to things, and the longer you stayed the better I’d like it. But no, you wouldn’t go unless I went, and now you want to make me stand up there by you half the night, when you know it is all I can do to get up onto my feet any way. You don’t seem to have no mercy on me at all, orderin’ me round all the time.