“Grand Imposition Hotel!”
And I’d say, “What of it, what if it is?”
And then he’d say: “They have got a crackin’ good name, Samantha. I love to see names that mean sunthin’.” And then he’d ask me if I remembered the song about Barbara Allen, and if it would hurt my feelin’s if he should lay and sing a verse of it to me, the bed put him in mind of it so.
I asked him what verse—but there was that in my tone that made him say no more about singin’—he said it was the verse where Barbara wanted her mother to have her coffin made “long and narrer.” And then he’d begin again about the pillers, and say how he wished he had brought a couple of feathers from home, to lay on, so he could have got some rest. He had pulled out a little wad of cotton-battin’ before we went to bed to convince me of their ingredents.
But I says to him: “Josiah Allen, a easy conscience can rest even on cotton-battin’ pillers,” and I added in awful meanin’ tones, “I am sleepy, Josiah Allen, and want to go to sleep. It is time,” says I with dignity, “that we was both reposin’ in the arms of Morphine.”
Nothin’ quells him down quicker than to have me talk in a classical high learnt way, and in a few minutes he was fast asleep. But though, as I told Josiah, my conscience was at rest and I felt sleepy, the musquitoes was dretful, and I don’t know as a guilty conscience could roust anybody up much more, or gall anybody more fearfully. They was truly tegus. And then the partition bein’ but thin, I could hear folks a walkin’ all night—and take it with their trampin’ and the musquitoes payin’ so much attention to me, I never got no good sleep ’till most mornin’; but then I got a good nap, and felt considerable chirk when I got up. We eat our breakfast in pretty good season and laid out to git a early start.
I didn’t have but one drawback worth mentionin’ and that was, I had lost one eye out of my specks somewhere on our way from Melankton Spicer’ses, and I told Josiah I felt mortified, after I had lotted so on seein’ the Sentinal, to think I had got to see him with one eye out; says he: “I guess you’ll see enough with one eye before night.”
Then I put on my things and we sot sail. It was a lovely mornin’ though considerable warm, and I felt well, and almost gay in spirits as we wended our way on our long and tegus journey from our room to the outside of the house; (we was goin’ to walk afoot to the Sentinal, the distance bein’ but short and triflin’) but at last we reached the piazza, and emerged into the street; I see that every man, woman and child was there in that identical street, and I thought to myself, there haint no Sentinal to-day, and everybody has come out into this street for a walk. I knew it stood to reason that if there had been a Sentinal there would have been one or two men or wimmin attendin’ to it, and I knew that every man woman and child on the hull face of the globe was right there before me, and behind me, and by the side of me, and fillin’ the street full, walkin’ afoot, and up in big covered wagons, all over ’em, on the inside, and hangin’ on to the outside, as thick as bees a swarmin’. Some of the horses was hitched ahead of each other, I s’pose so they could slip through the crowd easier. I couldn’t see the village hardly any owin’ to the crowd a crushin’ of me; but from what little I did see, it was perfectly beautiful. I see they had fixed up for us, they had whitewashed all their door-steps, and winderblinds, white as snow, and trimmed the latter all off with black ribbin strings.
Everything looked lovely and gay, and I thought as I walked along, Jonesville couldn’t compare with it for size and grandeur. I was a walkin’ along, crowded in body, but happy in mind, when all of a sudden a thought come to me that goared me worse than any elbo or umberell that had pierced my ribs sense we sot out from the tarvern. Thinks’es I all of a sudden; mebby they have put off the Sentinal ’till I come: mebby I have disappointed the Nation, and belated ’em, and put ’em to trouble.
This was a sad thought and wore on my mind considerable, and made me almost forget for the time bein’ my bodily sufferin’s as they pushed me this way and that, and goared me in the side with parasols and umberells, and carried off the tabs of my mantilly as far as they would go in every direction, and shoved, and stamped, and crowded. I declare I was tore to pieces in mind and body, when I arrove at last at the entrance to the grounds. The crowd was fearful here, and the yells of different kinds was distractive; one conceited little creeter catched right holt of the tabs of my mantilly, and yelled right up in my face: “Wont you have a guide? Buy a guide mom to the Sentinal.” And seven or eight others was a yellin’ the same thing to me, the impudent creeters; I jest turned round and faced the one that had got holt of my cape, and says I: