I see then where I was, and says I in faint axents: “Josiah Allen, I should have been through it in a minute more;” and I should. I told him I was most glad it took place, for it truly seemed as if he renewed his age, it pleased him so. But he stopped it pretty sudden, for he had a little incident happen to him, that made him pretty shy about pokin’ fun at me. The way on’t was, he had been sick all one night, and the next day he got so tired out that he said he guessed he would git into one of those rollin’ chairs a few moments to rest him. He whispered to me that he shouldn’t ride out but seven cents and a half, which would be only half a quarter of an hour. I whispered back to him that it would look small in him, and if I was in his place, I would ride a quarter of an hour, or not try to ride at all. But he whispered back to me, firm as brass, that seven cents worth and a half was all he should ride and that was more than he could afford. And knowin’ well he was close, but honest, I didn’t argue no more. He didn’t tell the man, for fear he wouldn’t want the bother for so little while.
That was the last I see of Josiah Allen for five hours and a half. He promised to meet me at a certain time and place, and I was skairt nearly to death. And I don’t know as I should ever have seen him again, if I hadn’t happened to meet him face to face. There he was a layin’ back fast asleep, and that man had been a rollin’ him round for five hours and a half by the clock, through the different worlds, and he not sensin’ a thing—sleepin’ jest as sweet in front of them horrible antediluvian monsters, and the crockydiles, as before calico and bobinet lace—treatin’ ’em all alike, snorin’ at the hull of ’em. I s’pose he had dropped to sleep the minute I left him, not sleepin’ any the night before. I catched right holt of his arm, and says to the man: “Stop instantly! it is my pardner that you are a rollin’ on; it is a sleepin’ Josiah.”
JOSIAH’S RIDE IN A CHAIR
I declare, the man looked almost as foolish as Josiah, only Josiah’s mean had agony on it; and as he paid out the 3 dollars and 30 cents, his sithes were more like groans than common sithes. I haint heerd a word sense from Josiah Allen about my walkin’ through a lookin’ glass in search of a Smith.
JOSIAH’S FIVE HOURS’ RIDE.
We then went into Mexico and found it was a noble lookin’ Nation, considerable on the castle plan; trimmed off handsome at the top with several open places filled with statutes, and large minerals, and some of the handsomest plants I ever see. It seemed to have everything it needed to git along with.
But what was as interestin’ to me as anything, was a great stone, weighin’ about four thousand pounds, that fell right down out of some other world, landin’ on ours, down in Mexico. Oh! what emotions I had in lookin’ at it and thinkin’ if I only knew what that stun knew, I should be a sight to behold. But I knew the stun wouldn’t speak up and tell me anything about the world he had come from, or how he happened to start off alone, or whether he liked our world better than he did hisen, or anything, if I stood there till the next Sentinal.
And then we went in under a lofty arch, with curtains, and tassels, and banners, and lions, and crosses, and so 4th into Netherlands. And right there in the vestibule was pictures and drawin’s and models; showin’ plain what awful hard work they do have to keep their land from drowndin’; dretful interestin’ it must be to inebriate drunkards there, seein’ what strong barriers they have raised up between them and the water.
And we see a little brick house, with part of the thatched roof left open so you could see right down into the house; and a eatin’ house with little folks settin’ to the table, and some East India curiosities as curious as any curiosities I ever laid eyes on. And then we travelled over into Brazil. I always knew Brazil was a noble Nation, but never, never did I imagine it was trimmed and ornamented off to such an extent. We went right in boldly under the ornaments and trimmins, and truly we did see enough to pay us for our trouble; there was flowers made out of the most brilliant feathers you ever see. Why I had s’posed old Hail the Day’s feathers was shinin’; I’ve seen ’em look perfectly gorgeous to me when he was standin’ round on one foot at the back door a crowin’ and the sun was a shinin’ down on him; but good land! what was his feathers compared to these. And then we see the big topaz, brilliant and clear as well-water almost, sunthin’ the size of a goose egg—s’posen she, the goose, laid almost square eggs. And oh! if I only had a goose that laid such eggs, how well off I could git in one season if she done well; it is worth 150,000 dollars. And we see a sun dial fixed so the sun fired off a cannon every day at noon. Josiah said he never see the beat on’t, to think the sun should be willin’ to do such work for anybody—hire out to do day’s works (as it were.) But I says, “if anybody could git him at it, it is Mr. Pedro;” says I, “it don’t surprise me, that without makin’ any fuss about it, or boastin’ a mite, he has got the sun so it will fire off cannons for him or anything; it is jest like him.” Says I, “Some monarchs are obleeged to wear a crown instead of a hat, and hold out a septer in their hand to make anybody mistrust they are kings. But it haint so with him; his royalty haint put on the outside, it is inherient in him, and works out from his heart and soul.”