And then, not wantin’ to slight nobody, we made a short tower, a very short one, through the Argentine Republic, though the news never had got to Jonesville—I never heerd in my life that there was such a Nation till I see its name wrote out. And there we see minerals, and shawls, and so 4th, and so 4th. Hearin’ that Peru was right back of it, and feelin’ that I would ruther lose a dollar bill than to have Peru feel slighted, we made ’em a short visit. I hadn’t been there two moments before I told Josiah that I’d ruther have run the risk of hurtin’ her feelins than to have gone near her, if I had had any idee what I was a goin’ to see.
I can truly say without lyin’ that they had the very humbliest skulls there that I ever did see. There haint any too much beauty in common skulls, but these were truly hegus. And such relics of humbliness; such awful lookin’ water-jars—how anybody could ever drink a drop of water out of ’em is a mystery to me. And such fearfully humbly mummys; there was eight on ’em, some with their knees drawd up to their breasts, and some in other postures, but every one on ’em enough to scare a cast-iron man—Josiah groaned aloud as he looked at ’em. I told him we ort to bear up under the sight as well as we could, for they was interestin’ from the fact that they was dug up out of old tombs and mounds.
But he groaned again louder than ever, and says he, “What made ’em dig ’em up?” Says he, “If they had been on my land, I’d ruther give a dollar than to have had ’em dug out where I could see ’em.”
I got Josiah out as quick as I could for I see them mummys and relics had overcome him so. I hurried him out, for I was afraid he would git completely unstrung, and I knew if he should, I was too afflicted with horror myself to try to string him up again. So we went back still further, into Orange, for I told Josiah I would be glad enough to git a couple of fresh oranges, for we both needed refreshin’ after what we had passed through. But I didn’t see an orange there, though I see some noble ostridge feathers, and diamonds, and wheat, and elephant tusks, and cream of tartar vegetable, and so 4th, and etcetery; and then we went right off into China.
I told Josiah it would look friendly in us to pay considerable attention to China, they bein’ neighbors of ours, (their land joins our farm I s’pose, on the underside.) Some folks think that this is the most strikin’ Nation to the Sentinal, but I don’t know as it struck me much harder than Japan did—they both dealt my mind fearful blows. We entered into this country through a tall noble gateway of carved wood painted in dark colors, with the roof turned up, and trimmed off with dragons like tea-chests and pagodas, and all other Chinese public structures. And the show cases was on the same plan, all fixed off with such curious figgers; and curious is no name for what we see there. Such carvin’s of wood and ivory; why there was a hull meetin’ house, most all steeple, seven or eight stories high, with bells a hangin’ from every one of ’em. This meetin’ house was all fenced in with trees in the door yard, and men and wimmen a walkin’ up to the house of Joss. The hull thing was carved out of ivory. I almost disputed the eye of my spectacles as I see it. And then there was a hull procession of ivory Mandarins, meanderin’ along; and balls within balls, fifteen in number, the outside one bein’ not much bigger than a hen’s egg, and every one of ’em carved with the most exquisite vines and flowers. How they ever done it is a mystery to me, and so it is to Josiah.
And then such splendid though extremely curious furniture as we see here; there was seven elegant pieces which was made of mahogony, trimmed off beautifully with whitewood and ivory; each piece was about the height of a table, and the seven could be formed into seven thousand shapes. Anybody could change ’em into a new article of furniture every day for twenty years. For a restless woman that is always movin’ round her bedstead and buro, and parlor table, these would be indeed refreshin’ and agreeable housen stuff. And there was a four thousand dollar bedstead, all ornamented and embellished with different sorts of dragons, and other interestin’ reptiles. There was sights of work on it. I haint got a bedstead in my house, that there is half the work on; but I have got them that I believe my soul I could sleep in as well again, for there was so many animals of different kinds a creepin’ up, and lookin’ down from overhead, and crawlin’ along the sides, that, thinks’es I to myself, after layin’ on it for several days, a nite mair would be almost a treat. I don’t say that the mair would look so curious, but she would be a sort of a rarity.
IN THE CHINESE DEPARTMENT
But if I had disputed the eye of my spectacle in China, what could I say to ’em in Japan. Such nicety of work, such patience and long sufferin’ as must have gone into their manufactorys. Why there was a buro, black and gold, with shelves and draws, and doors hung with gold and silver hinges, and every part of that buro clear to the backside of the bottom draw, was nicer, and fixed off handsomer than any handkerchief pin. They asked four thousand five hundred dollars for it, and it was worth it; I wouldn’t make it for a cent less, and so I told the Jappaned man that showed it off to us. Though, as I said to him, bein’ a literary woman doin’ my own housework, and off on towers of principle every little while, it wasn’t much likely I should ever git time to make one.
THE CHINESE DEPARTMENT.