“I s’pose he thought it was necessary to go through with all them mysterious, curious performances,—talkin’ strange; praisin’ me up to the skies; runnin’ other wimmen down to the lowest notch; jealous of likely men; actin’ wild, spooney; eyein’ me all the time as close as if he was a cat, and I was a rat hole; writin’ the curiousest letters to me; threatenin’ to kill himself if I wouldn’t have him; and jumpin’ up as if he would jump out of his skin, if I went to wait on myself any, pick up a ball of yarn, or open a door or anything. I s’pose he thought he had got to go through all this, or else it wouldn’t be courtin’. But good land! he couldn’t keep it up, I hadn’t no idee he could, or he couldn’t get no rest nor I nuther. It wore on me, he used to talk so dretful curious to me, so ’fraid I’d get killed or wait on myself a little or sunthin’; and eat! why I s’pose he eat next to nothin’, till I promised to have him. Why! when we got engaged he wasn’t much more’n skin and bones. But good land! he eats enough now to make it up; we hadn’t been married a month before he’d eat everything that was put before him, and instead of settin’ down and talkin’ strange at me, or jumpin’ up as if he was shot to open the door—so ’fraid that I would strain myself openin’ a door;—why, he would set and whittle and let me wait on myself jest as natural—let me sprain my back a reachin’ for things at the table, or bring in wood, or anything. Or he would drop to sleep in his chair, and sleep most the hull evenin’ he felt so contented and happy in his mind.”
I see I was a impressin’ Tirzah Ann the way I wanted to—and it made me feel so neat, that I went to allegorin, as I make a practice of doin’ real often, when I get eloquent; sunthin’ in the Bunyan style, only not so long. It is a dretful impressive way of talkin’.
LEFT BEHIND.
Says I, “S’posen a man was a racin’ to catch a boat, that was liable to start off without him. How he would swing his arms and canter, and how the sweat would pour offen his eyebrows, so dretful afraid he wouldn’t get there in time to embark. But after he had catched it, and sot down as easy as could be, sailin’ along comfortable and happy towards the place he wants to go to; how simple it would be in him, if he should keep up his performances. Do you s’pose he is any more indifferent about the journey he has undertook because he haint a swingin’ his arms, and canterin’? No! the time for that was when he was a catchin’ the boat, ’fraid he shouldn’t git it in time. That was the time for racin’, that was the time for lookin’ wild, that was the time for sweat. And when he had catched it that was the time for quiet and happiness.
“When Whitfield Minkley was a tryin’ to git you, anxious, ’fraid he shouldn’t, jealous of Shakespeare Bobbet, and etcetery,—that was the time for exertion, that was the time for strange talk, spoony, wild, spiritual runnin’ and swingin’ of the arms, sentimental canterin’ and sweat. Now he has got you, he is jest as comfortable and happy as the man on the boat, and what under the sun is the use of his swingin’ his arms and hollerin’.
“There you two are, in your boat a sailin’ down the river of life, and don’t you go to upsetin’ it and your happiness, by insistin’ on makin’ him go through with all the performances he did when he was a tryin’ to catch you. It is unreasonable.”
I never see any one’s mean change much more in same length of time than Tirzah Ann’s mean did, while I was a allegorin’. Her face seemed to look a number of inches shorter than it did when I begun.
Pretty soon Whitfield come, and he and Tirzah Ann stayed and eat supper, and we should have got along first rate, only there was a nutcake—a long slim one with two legs—that put the Widder in mind of Doodle; it happened to be put on her plate, and she cried one hour and a half by the clock.
