Here he made a low bow and set down. And Shakespeare Bobbet, Secretary of the Creation Searchers, got up, and said as it was doubtless the aim of all present to make as great a stir as possible in the literary and scientific world, and as they were all a workin’ for that end, and as there was now nine shillings and six pence in the treasury, he proposed those moneys should be expended in purchasing spectacles for the body to wear on the body.
The Editor of the Auger jumped up and seconded the motion, sayin’ he hadn’t a doubt about its increasin’ its reputation for deep and scientific wisdom. And he thought large round eyes would be best adapted to givin’ the body a wise look, and that heavy brass bows would help to give weight to its opinions.
They all agreed on this and the motion was carried in triumphant. Then one feller who had been round to literary conventions a good deal and had got high notions in his head, proposed that the body should let their hair grow long in their necks; he said it would be a great help to ’em. But as the President, and Solomon Cypher and the most of the head ones was as bald as a bald eagle—hadn’t hardly a mite of hair to their heads—the motion was laid down under the table; and they began to vote on who was to be sent. They voted in Cornelius Cork, and Solomon Cypher, and the Editor of the Auger, and Shakespeare Bobbet and several others, and everything seemed peaceful and happy—Solomon Cypher countin’ ’em serenely out of his hat—when all of a sudden without no warnin’ he jumped up, and brandished a vote in his hand, and yelled out in a voice a good deal like thunder:
“Who! where is the villain who has dared to demean this society and put it to shame by votin’ for a woman? Where is the wretch and the demeaner?”
And he looked as black and wrathful as an iron musket, and he struck himself in the breast powerful blows, and with every smite he would call out for “that villain and demeaner.” It was a fearful time; but right when the excitement was rainin’ most fearfully, I felt a motion by the side of me, and my companion got up and stood on his feet and says in pretty firm tones, though some sheepish:
“I did, and there’s where I stand now; I vote for Samantha.”
And then he sot down again. Oh! the fearful excitement and confusion that rained down again. The President got up and tried to speak, the Editor of the Auger talked wildly, Shakespeare Bobbet talked to himself incoherently, but Solomon Cypher’s voice drownded ’em all out, as he kep’ a smitin’ his breast and a hollerin’ that he wasn’t goin’ to be infringed upon, or come in contract with by no woman! No female woman needn’t think she was the equal of man; and I should go as a woman or stay to home.
I was so almost wore out by their talk that I spoke right out, and says I, “Good land! how did you s’pose I was a goin’?”
The President then said that he meant, if I went I musn’t look upon things with the eye of a “Creation Searcher” and a man, (here he pinted his forefinger right up in the air and waved it round in a real free and soarin’ way,) but look at things with the eye of a Private Investigator and a woman; (here he pinted his finger firm and stiddy right down into the wood-box, and a pan of ashes,) it was impressive, very. Then he went on to ask me, if I was willin’ to go as a woman, and with what eyes I was willin’ to look at things.
I kep’ on a knittin’ with considerable calm, and assured ’em with quite a lot of dignity, that bein’ a woman, I should most probable go as one, and not bein’ blind, I should look at things with my own eyes.