ELDER WESLEY MINKLE’S DONATION PARTY.
About four weeks afterwards, I had got my kitchen mopped out, clean as a pin and everything in perfect order and the dinner started, (I was goin’ to have beef steak and rice puddin’,) and then I took a bowl of raisons and sot doun to stun ’em, for I was goin’ to bake a plum cake for supper. I will have good vittles as long as my name is Josiah Allen’s wife. And it haint only on my own account that I do it, but I do it as I have observed before, from deep and almost cast iron principle. For as the greatest of philosiphers have discovered, if a woman would keep her table spread out from year to year, and from hour to hour, filled with good vittles, that woman would have a clever set of men folks round.
As I sot serenely stunnin’ my raisons, not dreamin’ of no trouble, I heard a rap at the door, and in walked Betsey Bobbet. I see she looked kinder curious, but I didn’t say nothin’, only I asked her to take off her things. She complied, and as she took out her tattin’ and begun to tat, says she—
“I have come to crave your advise, Josiah Allen’s wife. I am afraid I have been remissin’ in my duty. Martin Farquar Tupper is one of the most sweetest poets of the ages. My sentiments have always blended in with his beautiful sentiments, I have always flew with his flights, and soahed with his soahs. And last night afteh I had retiahed to bed, one of his sublime ideahs come to me with a poweh I neveh befoah felt. It knocked the bolted doah of my heart open, and said in low and hollow tones as it entered in, ‘Betsey Bobbet, you have not nevah done it.’”
Betsey stopped a minute here for me to look surprised and wonderin’, but I didn’t, I stunned my raisons with a calm countenance, and she resumed—
“Deah Tuppah remarks that if anybody is goin’ to be married, thier future companion is upon the earth somewhere at the present time, though they may not have met him or her. And he says it is our duty to pray for that future consort. And Josiah Allen’s wife, I have not neveh done it.”
She looked agonized, as she repeated to me, “Josiah Allen’s wife, I have neveh preyed for him a word. I feel condemned; would you begin now?”
Says I coolly, “Are you goin’ to prey for a husband, or about one?”