Says I, “it seemed to run as follers—‘I don’t want to purchase any more shoats.’
“Josiah did have a uncommon kind of pigs, and we thought mebby you had heard that Josiah wanted to sell you one, though it was a mistake, for he swapped a couple with Deacon Gowdey for a yearlin’ heifer, and he didn’t have no more left than he wanted to keep over.”
He said we didn’t read it right. It read, ‘I don’t approve of any wimmen’s votes.’ And says he, leanin’ back in his chair, “That is the ground I take, I don’t believe in Wimmen’s Rights. I don’t see what rights they want—more’n they have now.”
Then I dove right into the subject that was the nearest to my heart (with the exception of Josiah) and says I, “Horace, we want the right of equal pay for equal laber. The right of not bein’ taxed without representation. The right of not bein’ compelled, if she is a rich woman, of lettin’ her property go to support public men, who are makin’ laws that are ruinin’ them she loves best, such as givin’ licences to ruin body and soul. The right to stand by the side of all good and true soles in the nation, and tryin’ to stop this evil spirit of intemperance and licentiousness that is runnin’ rampant through the land. The right to—”
I don’t know how much longer I should have gone on, but in the noble forgetfulness of yourself that always accompanies genius, I had riz up, and by an unguarded wave of my right hand a wavin’ in eloquence I tipped over my umberell. Horace picked it up (he is a perfect gentleman at heart) and says he, “Set down Josiah Allen’s wife, don’t fatigue yourself too much.”
Rememberin’ myself, I sot down, and Horace, pensively wipin’ his brow with his lead pencil, went on to say,
“I admit there is some truth in what you say, Josiah Allen’s wife. I admit, as a truthful man should, that whatever wimmen has laid thier hands to, such as churches, hospital work, foreign missionary work, ragged schools, Sunday schools, charity balls and fairs, and Good Templars, they have done more than men in thier efforts and good influence. They are more patient than men; they are not so strong, but they are more persistent. When they once get a plan in thier heads, they are awful to hold on—if they can’t accomplish it in one way, they will take another.”
Says I, “that is jest what Josiah says. He says, ‘I always have my own way.’”
“I admit, that whenever wimmen have been admitted in any public affairs, they have had a puryfyin’, and softnin’ and enoblin’ influence. But I deny that votin’ and havin’ a voice in public affairs is goin’ to better the condition of either wimmen or the nation.”
Says I, “Horace, the old White House needs puryfyin’ more than any horsepittle or meetin’ house in creation.” And says I, “Let wimmen lay to, and help clean house.” Says I, “let her try her hand for one year, and see what she can do.”