“I asked you, Josiah Allen’s wife,” sez he, “to listen to me, for I felt that you wuz the most proper person for me to state my feelings to. Since you and your party have entered this house,” sez he, “I have had a great conflict goin’ on between my mind and my heart.”
“Ah indeed! have you?” sez I, liftin’ my nose at a angle of from forty to fifty degrees.
“Yes,” sez he, “I have had a great struggle between my heart and my common sense, and in the battle that ensued, Common Sense and Reason has had to retire into the background, and Heart has triumphed.”
“It is a great pity!” sez I, “Common Sense and Reason had much better come out ahead,” and agin I lifted my nose to its extremest limit, and looked swords and prunin’ knives at him.
“That is just what most folks would say, I am aware, but listen to my story before you judge. I must reveal to you the state of my heart and affections!” 139
How sure it is that when a kag is tapped the contents will run out no matter whether it is wine or water. At them bold words accompanied by the ardent rollin’ of that lone orb, my well-laid plans all left my mind, nothin’ wuz left but pure principle and devotion and loyalty to my pardner. The full kag emptied its contents over his nefarious purposes, and I bust out almost onbeknown to me and sez:
“It is no use; it is vain, it is worse than vain! it is wicked!”
“What,” sez he, “is she engaged to another?”
“Who?” sez I, turnin’ like lightnin’ and facin’ him.
“Why, Miss Smith, your niece or grand-child who is with you. That beauchious creature!” sez he.