“No doubt on’t,” sez I, “no doubt on’t!”
“Yes, whatever woman I choose, some must be left, pinin’ on their stems, to speak poetically. I can’t marry every woman, that’s plain to be seen.”
“Yes, thank Heaven! that’s a settled thing,” sez I lookin’ longin’ly at my pardner, who wuz leanin’ aginst the door and conversin’ with the man of the house on his chosen theme, for anon or oftener I hearn the words—Coney Island! Dreamland—Luny Park, etc., etc.
“No, and my choice made, I want it done as speedily as possible, for my late lamented left as a slight token of her love thirteen children of all ages, rangin’ from six months up to twelve years, two pairs of triplets, two ditto of twins, and three singles.
“My wealth lays in land mostly. I never believed in idle luxuries, only comfort, solid comfort, and my wife will have a luxurious home of a story and a half upright, and a linter, groceries and necessaries all provided, and all she will have to do will be the housework and gently train and care for the minds and bodies of the little ones, with some help from the oldest set of triplets, and make my home agin an oasis of joy, a Eden below. Oh! how happy she will be!” sez he, “Nestlin’ down like a wanderin’ dove in the safety and peace and pride of married life. When can I see Miss Smith?” sez he. “Or will you tell her in advance of her good fortune?”
“‘No,’ sez Mr. Pomper, ‘I want it done as speedily as possible, fer my late lamented left me thirteen children, two pairs of triplets, two ditto of twins, and three singles.’” (See page 143)