I sez, “No, I’ve enjoyed enough of that since comin’ in here.”
Sez she, “Have you seen the monkeys keepin’ house?”
“No,” sez I, “but I will.” And sure enough, there wuz a big family of monkeys housekeeping. Some eatin’ dinner in the dining room, some doin’ different kinds of housework, sweepin’, operatin’ the dumb waiter, payin’ bills, etc. Some in the settin’ room readin’ the newspaper. And there is a band of sixty monkey musicians. And I hearn they’re learnin’ bridge whist; I wuz sorry to hear that, and I sez to the oldest and wisest lookin’ monkey:
“You’ll sup sorrow if you go into bridge whist, gamblin’ and wastin’ good daylight in civilized sports, when you might be hangin’ from tree tops, and chasin’ each other ’round stumps, in a honest, oncivilized way. If you don’t look out your ladies will foller the example of the Four Hundred and be thinkin’ of a divorce and big alimony next.”
He looked impressed by my noble anxiety on their behaff, but didn’t say nothin’. But mebby he’ll hear to me. A little boy standin’ by sez, “Ma, Jimmy Bates sez that he and I and everybody descended from monkeys—did I, ma?” 243
“I don’t know,” sez she, “I never knew much about your father’s family.”
I didn’t stay long at the Open Air Circus, though it wuz a big place and sights goin’ on there; bare-backed riders, Japanese jugglers and acrobats, tight-rope walkers, elephants and camels with folks on their backs, with Arabians and East Indians in their native costumes takin’ care of ’em.
Not fur off I see a male statute; lots of folks wuz congregated in front of it, and I went up too, and I sez to a female bystander, “I always did love to see statutes. But this one’s linement is humblier than most on ’em.”
When if you’ll believe it it turned round and sez, “Thank you, mom, for the compliment.” It acted mad.
Another man stood like a statute, and the woman I had spoke to sez, “You can git a dollar if you can make that man laugh.”