“Why,” sez I, “I s’pose one great thing is their dressin’ comfortable.”
“Wall, I am glad you know enough to know it,” sez he. “Why,” sez he, “jest imagine a man tyin’ a rope round his waist, round and round; or worse yet, take strong steel, and whalebones, and bind and choke himself down with ’em, and tottlin’ himself up on high heel slippers, the high heels comin’ right up in the ball of his foot—and then havin’ heavy skirts a holdin’ him down, tied back tight round his knees and draggin’ along on the ground at his feet—imagine me in that perdickerment, Samantha.”
I shuddered, and sez I, “Don’t bring up no such seen to harrow up my nerve.” Sez I, “You know I couldn’t stand it, to see you a facin’ life and its solemn responsibilities in that condition. It would kill me to witness your sufferin’,” sez I. And agin’ I shuddered, and agin I sithed.
And he sez, “Wall, it is jest as reasonable for a man to do it as for a woman; it is far worse and more dangerous for a woman than a man.”
“I know it,” sez I, between my sithes. “I know it, but I can’t, I can’t stand it, to have you go into it.”
“Wall, you needn’t worry, Samantha, I haint a fool. You won’t ketch men a goin’ into any such performances as this, they know too much.” And then he resumed on in a lighter agent, to get my mind still further off from his danger, for I wuz still a sithin’, frequent and deep.
Sez he, as he looked down and see some wimmen a passin’ below; sez hey “I never see such a sight in my life, a man can see more here in one evenin’ than he can in a life time at Jonesville.”
“That is so, Josiah,” sez I, “you can.” And I felt every word I said, for at that very minute a lady, or rather a female woman, passed with a dress on so low in the neck that I instinctively turned away my head, and when I looked round agin, a deep blush wuz mantlin’ the cheeks of Josiah Allen, a flushin’ up his face, clear up into his bald head.
I don’t believe I had ever been prouder of Josiah Allen, than I wuz at that minute. That blush spoke plainer than words could, of the purity and soundness of my pardner’s morals. If the whole nation had stood up in front of me at that time, and told me his morals wuz a tottlin’ I would have scorned the suggestion. No, that blush telegraphed to me right from his soul, the sweet tidin’s of his modesty and worth.
And I couldn’t refrain from sayin’ in encouragin’, happy axents, “Haint you glad now, Josiah Allen, that you listened to your pardner; haint you glad that you haint a goin’ round in a low necked coat and vest, a callin’ up the blush of skern and outraged modesty to the cheeks ‘of noble and modest men?”