Sez he, in a eager, animated whisper, “9.” And he whispered in the same axents, “5 times 9 is 45 ; if it had been to a fair, or Fourth of July, or anything, it would have cost me 45 cents, and if it had been to a church social - lemme see - 9 times 10 is 90. It would have cost me a dollar bill! And here I am a havin’ it all for 5 cents. Why,” sez he, “I never see the beat on’t in my life.”
And ag’in he drinked a tumbler full down, and motioned to the frightened boy for another.
But I took him by the vest and whispered to him, sez I, “Josiah Allen, do you want to die, because you can die cheap? Why,” sez I, “it will kill you to drink so much.”
“But think of the cheapness on’t Samantha! The chance I have of getting the worth of my money.”
But I whispered back to him in anxus axents and told him, that I guessed if funeral expenses wuz added to that 5 cents it wouldn’t come so cheap, and sez I, “you wont live through many more glasses, and you’ll see you wont. Why,” sez I, “you are a drowndin’ out your insides.”
He wuz fairly a gettin’ white round the mouth, and I finally got him to withdraw, though he looked back longingly at the tumblers and murmured even after I had got him to the door, that it wuz a dumb pity when anybody got a chance to get the worth of their money, which wuzn’t often, to think they couldn’t take advantage on it.
And I sez back to him in low deep axents, “There is such a thing as bein’ too graspin’, Josiah Allen.” Sez I, “The children of Israel used to want to lay up more manny than they wanted or needed, and it spilte on their hands.” And sez I, “you see if it haint jest so with you; you have been in too great haste to enrich yourself, and you’ll be sorry for it, you see if you haint.”
And he was. Though he uttered language I wouldn’t wish to repeat, about the children of Israel and about me for bringin’ of ’em up. But the man wuz dethly sick. Why he had drinked 11 tumblers full, and I trembled to think what would have follered on, and ensued, if I hadn’t interfered. As it wuz, he wuz confined to our abode for the rest of the day.
But I wouldn’t have Josiah Allen blamed more than is due for this little incedent, for it only illustrates a pervailin’ trait in men’s nater, and sometimes wimmen’s - a too great desire to amass sudden riches, and when opportunity offers, burden themselves with useless and wearysome and oft-times painful gear.
They don’t need it but seeing they have a chance to get it cheap, “dog cheap “ as the poet observes, why they weight themselves down with it, and then groan under the burden of unnecessary and wearin’ wealth. This is a deep subject, deep as the well from which my companion drinked, and nearly drinked himself into a untimely grave.