Josiah wuz openin’ his mouth to argy some more (he is dretful clost) when we felt and heard a great commotion runnin’ through the crowd, we wuz standin’ out a little to one side, and Thomas J. spoke real low, he had too good taste to openly show that he thought that Heathen might divide up a little with native sufferers. But, on advancin’ a little, we see the cause of the excitement. Miss Greene Smythe wuz advancin’ out of the hotel towards the big tent where she wuz goin’ to stand, and all who wanted to wuz led in by a usher to take her hand and kiss it, or jest shake it, as they wanted to.
Well, she wuz a sight, a sight as she passed onwards. She wuz dressed as Queen Elizabeth in that identical dress I had seen with the boddist a mass of jeweled embroidery, a great white ruff standin’ up round her face, with strings of precious stuns hung round her neck and blazin’ in her crown and strung on her dress everywhere, and her velvet skirt behind her trailin’ more than as fur from our front door to the gate, or so it seemed, all held up by two pages, as they called ’em. But I recognized their faces; they wuz two of the Danglers, I could see, with fancy dresses on, one pink satin and the other pale yellow, and their satin knee breeches only come down to their knees, where they wuz met by long silk stockin’s with glitterin’ buckles on ’em and their low slips. They had wigs powdered real gray and braided up on their backs with ribbin bows on ’em. And the one who locked arms with her, walkin’ by her side, they called him Leicester, but I knowed him, he wuz the other Dangler. He wuz dressed in a white satin suit, embroidered jacket, and knee breeches, and his breast all covered with orders, stars and crosses, all a blaze of jewels.
He walked clost by her side, carryin’ her fan, which wuz also shining with precious stuns, and he wuz fannin’ her most of the time. And the other two Danglers wuz jealous as I could see. I could see ’em knit their eyebrows, and I thought I hearn ’em grate their teeth. But I know I see ’em shake their fists at him onperceived by the gay crowd, so hollow is fashionable life, and so the worm of jealousy gnaws even the empty breast of a Dangler. Well, she entered the big tent follered by some Maids of Honor, Medora wuz one of ’em, and Courtiers and Lords in Waiting, as I hearn ’em called, and took up her position in the centre of the big tent on a sort of dais, they called it. I should call it a little platform covered with a velvet rug with the throne on it, a big chair, I guess, covered with handsome drapery. And the folks went up to speak to her, lots of the men, foolish lookin’ creeters, too, Kings and Cardinals and such, knelt down at her feet and kissed her hand.
Thomas J. didn’t, no, indeed! he addressed her as I remembered afterwards as, “Your Royal Highness.” I never thought on’t at that time, or I would mebby jined in the play, but somebody pushed on ahead of Josiah and me, and Thomas J. and Maggie wuz swep’ on by the crowd, so when I paused before her I jest sez, “How do you do, Miss Greene Smythe?” And, bein’ all wrought up about that Heathen, I couldn’t seem to help tacklin’ her then and there, for I felt that a delay of even a day or two might be too late, sez I, “You have got a splendid show here to-night and money is flowin’ like water for that Heathen, but for mercy sake don’t let that money go to him without a letter goin’ at the same time to warn that Heathen of the deceitfulness of riches, for I d’no,” sez I, “but he would break out and kick higher and devour more missionaries than ever if he hain’t warned in time.”
She smiled sort o’ queer, and Leicester whispered sunthin’ to her and sort o’ giggled, but I wuzn’t goin’ to be danted by a Dangler, I turned my attention to him for a minute, “You know,” sez I, “how soon pride can be overthrowed and trompled on.”
His face changed in a minute, the heels of that colt seemed to enter his stomach agin, and he looked browbeat and mortified. The Danglers behind her clapped their hands softly and seemed to enjoy my remarks dretfully. But the crowd wuz pressin’ on my rear and time wuz passin’, and I sez agin: “Come and see me if you can, before you send that money; I have got a number of Bible verses I would love to put in that letter, and a few tracks.”
She smiled agin that sort of a queer smile, and the crowd bore us on, I feelin’ the sweet calm of one who hasn’t shrunk from duty. Well, Josiah wuz bound to go into the big tent where more vittles wuz spread out than it seemed a hull army could eat, everything dainty and luxurious and rich wuz spread before us—kroketts, pattys, salads, cakes of every kind, some on ’em big as a big cheese, all covered with wreathes of posies made in the frostin’, and smaller ones of every shape and kind, and jellies heaped up in every color and form, all on ’em pretty, and moulds of ice-cream of all colors, frozen in pyramids and stars and musical instruments and everything else, and great banks of flowers banked up behind ’em, and tall vases of flowers standing amongst ’em, it wuz a sight, a sight.
Josiah enjoyed himself here the best that ever wuz, and we had a quiet corner all to ourselves, but anon, when so much time had passed that I fondly imagined his hunger must be slaked, the crowd had come in till the tent wuz full, and one man behind us spoke to another one: “The wine flows here to-night like water.”
“Yes, champagne, too; this spread must cost something.”
“Yes,” sez the other, “I guess old Greene Smythe will realize it when the bills come in.”