And that decided me; I toilin’ and prespirin’ and sweatin’ in my efforts to git the syllables all straight in a row and drive ’em on in front of me, and he standin’ lookin’ like a martyr. He bore up under it wonderful, I must say that for him, lookin’ bad but speechless. It wuz jest after that last effort of mine to git the name jest right (for I wuz introducin’ him to Elder Minkley, and I always try to do my best by ministers, good creeters, they deserve it), that I wunked Tamer Ann out, she lookin’ mad, and I red and prespirin’ with my efforts, and, sez I, “This must end, Tamer Ann.”
And sez she, “I should think as much!”
“Well,” sez I, “Von Crank or Von Wink is what that young man will be called by me for the rest of my days.”
She demurred, but I stood firm. Sez I, “I may have to speak his name several times while I live, and life is too short for me to go stumblin’ round amongst the syllables of his name and wrastlin’ and bein’ throwed by ’em. Von Crank is my choice, but you may take your pick in the two names.”
She see I wuz firm as adamantine rock, and so she yielded, and Von Crank is what I’ve called him ever since. Tom Willis acted tickled, and so did Thomas J. Thomas J. sets a sight by Tom Willis, and so we all do. He is a likely young feller, light complected, with blue-gray eyes that are keen and flashin’, and soft at the same time, and no beard, only a mustache; a tall, broad-shouldered young chap. And as I say he wuz tickled to see Von Crank stand up straight and stiff and immovable genteel, and I callin’ him by so many awful names and knowin’ by my firm stiddy mean I wuz doin’ my very best by him and myself and the world at large.
It hain’t nateral under the circumstances that Tom should love Von Crank or Von Crank love him. They hain’t attached to each other at all, anybody could see that at the most casual glance. To see Von Crank try to patronize Tom and couldn’t, and to see Tom say the dryest, provokinest things to Von Crank in a polite way and Von Crank writhin’ under ’em, but too genteel to say anything back. It wuz a strange seen. And to see Anna by all her lovin’ looks dotin’ on Tom, and Tom’s silent, stiddy devotion to her, and Tamer Ann’s efforts to git ’em apart and still keep genteel—why, it wuz as good as any performance that wuz ever performed in a circus, and so I told Josiah afterwards.
Tom tried hard to act manly and upright, and that always effects me powerful. To see a young man blowed on by such blasts of passion, such a overmasterin’ love and longin’, and still standin’ up straight and not gittin’ blowed over by ’em, it always affects me, I can’t help it, I wuz made in jest that way.
Now, after Von Crank got to goin’ after Anna, Tamer Ann, as I said before, told Tom Willis to never step his foot in her house agin, and have nothin’ to do at all with Anna.
Well, Tom bowed to her, they say, and took his hat right up and left without a word back to her only “good mornin’,” it wuz in the mornin’ time that she told him. But they say, and I believe it, that his face wuz white as death, even to the lips, and they wuz tremblin’, so they say. And mebby he couldn’t say anything owin’ to the sinkin’ of his heart, and mebby it wuz because he wouldn’t promise to give her up and didn’t want to mad Tamer Ann by contendin’ with her. Anyway, they say he didn’t say nothin’ only jest “good mornin’,” and went out.