“But,” sez he, “I mean beer or wine or liquor of some kind.”
I riz right up in my shues and dignity, and glared at him.
Sez he, “There is a saloon right here handy in the buildin’.”
Sez I in awful axents, “It is very appropriate to have it here handy!” Sez I, “Liquor duz more towards makin’ the laws of the United States from Caucus to Convention than anything else duz, and it is highly proper to have it here so they can soak the laws in it right off before they lay ’em onto the table or under ’em, or pass ’em onto the people. It is highly appropriate,” sez I.
“Yes,” sez he. “It is very handy for the Senators and Congressmen, and let me get you a glass.”
“No, you won’t!” sez I firmly. “The nation suffers enough from that room now without havin’ Josiah Allen’s wife let in.”
Sez he, “If you have any feeling of delicacy in goin’ in there, let me make some wine here. I will get a glass of water and make you some pure grape wine, or French brandy, or corn or rye whiskey. I have all the drugs right here.” And he took a little box out of his pocket. “My father is a importer of rare old wines, and I know just how it is done. I have ’em all here, Capsicum, Coculus Indicus, alum, copperas, strychnine; I will make some of the choicest, oldest, and purest imported liquors we have in the country, in five minutes if you say so.”
“No!” sez I firmly, “when I want to foller Cleopatra’s fashion and commit suicide, I will hire a rattlesnake and take my pizen as she did, on the outside.”
Well, I got back to Hiram Cagwin’s tired as a dog, and Serepta’s errents ondone. But my conscience opholded me and told me I had done my very best, and man or woman can do no more.
Well, the next day but one wuz the big outdoor suffrage meetin’. And we sot off in good season, Hiram feelin’ well enough to be left with the hired help. Polly started before we did with some of her college mates, lookin’ pretty as a pink with a red rose pinned over a achin’ heart, so I spoze, for she loved the young man who wuz out with another girl May-flowering. Burnin’ zeal and lofty principle can’t take the place in a woman’s heart of love and domestic happiness, and men needn’t be afraid it will. There is no more danger on’t than there is of a settin’ hen wantin’ to leave her nest to be a commercial traveler. Nature has made laws for wimmen and hens that no ballot, male or female, can upset.