“How would you put the objection?” sez the secretary.
“On the ground of cruelty to animals,” sez the doctor.
A fat Englishman who had took the widder Shelmadine’s farm on shares, says, “I ’old with Brother Josiah Hallen’s hargument. As the father of nine young children and thirty cows to milk with my wife’s ’elp, I ’old she musn’t be kep’ from work, but h’I propose if we can’t do anything else that a card of sympathy be sent to hold Hengland from the Creation Searchin’ Society of America, tellin’ ’em ’ow our ’earts bleeds for the men’s sufferin’ and ’ardships in ’avin’ to leave their hoccupations to beat and ’aul round and drive females to jails, and feed ’em with rubber hose through their noses to keep ’em from starvin’ to death for what they call their principles.”
This motion wuz carried unanimously.
But here an old man, who had jest dropped in and who wuz kinder deef and slow-witted, asked, “What it is about anyway? what do the wimmen ask for when they are pounded and jailed and starved?”
Hank Yerden, whose wife is a Suffragist, and who is mistrusted to have a leanin’ that way himself, answered him, “Oh, they wanted the lawmakers to read their petitions asking for the rights of ordinary citizens. They said as long as their property wuz taxed they had the right of representation. And as long as the law punished wimmen equally with men, they had a right to help make that law, and as long as men claimed wimmen’s place wuz home, they wanted the right to guard that home. And as long as they brought children into the world they wanted the right to protect ’em. And when the lawmakers wouldn’t hear a word they said, and beat ’em and drove ’em round and jailed ’em, they got mad as hens, and are actin’ like furiation and wild cats. But claim that civil rights wuz never give to any class without warfare.”
“Heavens! what doin’s!” sez old Zephaniah Beezum, “what is the world comin’ to!” “Angle worms will be risin’ up next and demandin’ to not be trod on.” Sez he, “I have studied the subject on every side, and I claim the best way to deal with them militant females is to banish ’em to some barren wilderness, some foreign desert where they can meditate on their crimes, and not bother men.”
This idee wuz received favorably by most of the members, but others differed and showed the weak p’ints in it, and it wuz gin up.
Well, at ten P.M., the Creation Searchers gin up after arguin’ pro and con, con and pro, that they could not see any way out of the matter, they could not tell what to do with the wimmen without danger and trouble to the male sect.
They looked dretful dejected and onhappy as they come to this conclusion, my pardner looked as if he wuz most ready to bust out cryin’. And as I looked on his beloved linement I forgot everything else and onbeknown to me I leaned over the railin’ and sez: