“Oh, no, it doesn’t!” Cis contradicted him happily. “Don’t be greedy, Rory! Greedy and ungrateful. Think what a beautiful day, and—four, six, ten—it will be more than ten hours long by the time we get home!”
“Ungrateful I’m not; but greedy? Well, why shouldn’t I be? Hungry people are greedy, especially for the kind of food that best nourishes them. Philosophy is all very well, but it’s not always a satisfactory symptom! Don’t you be too easily satisfied, Miss Holly Adair! One day couldn’t satisfy me; it whets my appetite!” Rodney’s eyes were literally devouring, his voice sharp.
“Oh, well, Rod!” Cis said softly. “I’m not exactly easy-going. One day at a time! They sing a silly hymn at church, all about not praying for anything, not even to be good, except ‘just for to-day,’ when of course we’re saying all the time: ‘Now, and at the hour of our death,’ and we’re made to pray for final perseverance! But ‘just for to-day’ comes in all right now; this is our day, and a pretty nice one! I’ve been happy all day long, and we’re still happy, with two hours and a half ahead, and I love to ride on the train. A whole day happy is a big thing!”
“Cis, you speak as if you were afraid! There are years of happy days ahead, my girl! When I first knew you, Holly dear, I thought I’d never seen a creature who had passed the twenty-first birthday, who was so absolutely without a thought of the morrow as you were.” Rodney looked at Cis questioningly.
“Ah! When you first knew me!” Cis breathed the words so softly that Rodney leaned forward to catch them. “I’m changing fast, Rod; I have changed; I’m getting tamed. Happiness scares you when you know you’re happy. Before I came here I was happy, but it was the way kids are happy. I didn’t know I was happy; just went along as if I was a boy, whistling. Now—I think about it.” Cis pulled herself up short, then she added: “They tell you that life isn’t particularly happy when you get well into it, that happiness is not meant to last. I suppose what everybody says is true; how can I help being afraid? But it’s a queer thing: I’m happier when I’m afraid than I was when I wasn’t afraid one bit!”
Rodney smiled on her, well-content with her unconscious revelations, or was it that Cis was so trusting, so honest that she was conscious of revealing, yet did not mind it?
“Do you believe that you will not be happy, Holly dear? That we shall not be happy? Do you believe all these croakers who try to make you think life is a dismal thing, and all true happiness is beyond the grave? That’s religion’s talk! Don’t you heed it. Of course no clock strikes twelve every hour, but you’ll see what bliss life holds, and that we’ll keep tight grasp on it, provided you steer straight. Why, little kid Cicely, you’ve no more notion of what bliss is ahead of you than a small brown bunny out in those woods yonder! Believe me, you glowing, gorgeous-tinted Holly, you will laugh at your fears when you get over the drunkenness of the joy you’re going to have!” Rodney smiled at Cis with flashing eyes.
Cis smiled back at him, her breath a little short, but her candid eyes looked into his unafraid. Whatever Cis feared or dreaded, it was nothing within the compass of Rodney’s control; to him she trusted herself completely.
She leaned back in her chair, her hat in her lap, luxuriously rumpling her hair by rolling her head slightly on the chair’s plush back. Her face grew grave and sweet as her thoughts travelled onward from Rodney’s promise of lasting happiness to her own conviction that sorrow must come. It did not matter greatly as long as fundamentals held. Rodney’s “we” destroyed fear. Womanlike, she felt that sorrow that was shared would in itself hold a sweeter joy than happiness; that if she could lighten a burden for Rod there would be no weight in the heaviest burden upon herself. The prescience of the woman showed Cis the profound meaning of a true marriage; not, first in importance, to be happy together, but to learn to be happy in being unhappy together.
“Cis, I did not know that you could look like that!” cried Rodney suddenly. They had been silent for a little space, and he was watching Cis’s changing expression with awe and wonder, unable to follow her mental processes, yet guessing their course.