The statement was made in the preceding chapter that the writers of the Bible, especially of the historical books, drew faithfully from real life, and sketched manners and traits as they found them. They neither smoothed over nor concealed anything. They were absolutely frank. This fidelity to nature made it inevitable that the writers should now and then depict the ludicrous side of life and character, describe grotesque situations and paint amusing scenes. These are not uproariously funny, they will not provoke boisterous merriment, any more than will a page of Addison; but they are none the less specimens of genuine humor. Indeed, Carlyle reminds us that “true humor springs not more from the head than from the heart; it issues not in laughter, but in smiles that lie far deeper.”
We may be sure that all life from the very beginning has had its humorous no less than its serious side. If any record had been kept, we should no doubt find that Adam and Eve had their jokes about the apples—it is universally assumed that they were apples—on that forbidden tree, and that they were quite as good as any jokes that have been made about those same apples in more recent years. The masons and bricklayers on the tower of Babel no doubt poked their thumbs into each other’s ribs and slapped each other on the back to emphasize their rude jokes about the late “wet spell,” and wondered how long it would take to get to Heaven with their building. And we imagine that even during the flood itself there were sanguine souls who took the whole matter philosophically, declaring that ‘it never rained long when the clouds looked that way and the wind was in that direction.’ The Israelites, we suspect, lightened their bondage in Egypt by mimicking the pompous manners of their hated taskmasters and ridiculing the fools who thought that bricks could be made without straw. And the grimmest Egyptian mummy that now graces a museum or helps to fertilize the wheat-fields of the West once wore a smile or grin upon his leathern face as he related to a brother mummy how Pharoah made sport of the Israelites by promising to “let them go,” and then when they were all on tip-toe with expectation, countermanding the order. Then they would both shake their heads and chuckle with delight over the pleasant humor of their monarch and declare that ‘Pharoah was in high spirits to-day.’ Thus the world has rolled and chirruped and cackled on since the time when man emerged from the animal. And Holmes suggests, in our motto, that the sense of humor was in the animal before man.
I.
Sometimes the humor of the Bible lies in the thing described,—the odd or awkward or absurd thing said or done.
“The Iliad,” says Sidney Smith, “would never have come down to these times, if Agamemnon had given Achilles a box on the ear. We should have trembled for the Æneid, if some Trojan nobleman had kicked the pious Æneas in the fourth book. Æneas, may have deserved it, but he never could have founded the Roman Empire after so distressing an accident.” And yet accidents quite as distressing, if not of precisely the same nature, have happened in the best families that ever lived upon this planet. The writers of the Bible have not hesitated to give us a very frank account of some of them.
Imagine the vacant look of the terrified Aaron, as he gave his imbecile explanation of the golden calf! Moses and Joshua are coming down from the mountain. “And when Joshua heard the noise of the people as they shouted, he said unto Moses, There is a noise of war in the camp. And Moses answered, It is not the voice of them that shout for mastery, neither is it the voice of them that cry for being overcome; but the noise of them that sing do I hear.” Soon they draw near the camp and see “the calf and the dancing.” Then does the anger of Moses wax hot. In his rage he flings down and shatters the “tables of stone.” Like a whirlwind he descends upon the camp, hurls the miserable calf into the fire, and demands an explanation of his recreant brother. “What did this people unto thee that thou hast brought so great a sin upon them?” Aaron quails beneath the wrath of Moses and stammers: “Thou knowest the people that they are set on mischief. For they said unto me, Make us gods which shall go before us: for as for this Moses”—think of that, this Moses—“that brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we know not what has become of him.” You see they are set on mischief; they were disrespectful even unto you—this Moses. Something had to be done. “And I said unto them, Whosoever hath any gold, let them break it off. So they gave it to me, and I cast it into the fire, and”—what do you suppose happened?—“there came out this calf!” I was as much surprised as you are, but no one is responsible—it did itself!
In quaint fashion did Saul make honest confession when smitten with remorse on account of his persecution of David: “Behold I have played the fool!” The regret of Prince Hal also—“Thus do we play the fools with time, while the spirits of the wise sit in the clouds and mock us.”
What an odd—almost laughable—spectacle is the bombastic Nebuchadnezzar, one moment proudly striding along the battlements of his palace, “Is not this great Babylon which I have builded?”—the next eating grass like the beasts of the field! As Carlyle says: “A purple Nebuchadnezzar rejoices to feel himself now veritably emperor of this great Babylon which he has builded; and is a nondescript, biped-quadruped, on the eve of a seven years’ course of grazing.”
There is a scene in the life of David in which that worthy is represented as cutting fantastic capers before high heaven. At one time, in order to keep out of Saul’s way, David went down to Gath. The servants of King Achish recognize him, and tell their royal master that this is the famous David over whose exploits the daughters of Israel sang. “Is not this David, the king of the land? Did they not sing to one another of him in dances, saying, Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands?” But David does not wish his identity known and with characteristic shrewdness he feigns insanity. “He feigned himself mad, and scrabbled on the doors of the gate and let his spittle fall down upon his beard,”—a sorry looking hero! So thinks the king Achish. What, this the man that slew the giant? this drivelling lunatic the victor that Israel’s daughters praised? His disgust knows no bounds. He is almost as grotesque in his anger as is David in his appearance and conduct. He turns upon his courtiers in offended dignity and cries, “Lo, ye see the man is mad; wherefore have ye brought him to me? Have I need of madmen, (are not ye my own servants sufficient?) that ye have brought this fellow to play the madman in my presence? Shall this fellow come into my house?” “Fool me no fools,” says King Achish. When King Achish asked, “Have I need of madmen?” he evidently thought of his own servants and courtiers as did Christian I., of Denmark, in modern times, of those who graced his Court. He sharply remarked, on a presentation to him of several court fools, that “he was not in want of such things, and if he were, he had only to give license to his courtiers, who, to his certain knowledge, were capable of exhibiting themselves as the greatest fools in Europe!”
In Nehemiah’s account of building the walls of Jerusalem, he shows how sorely the Jews took the clumsy jibes of their foes and gives us a specimen of Samaritan joking in that early day. Sanballat mocked the Jews and said, “What do these feeble Jews? Will they fortify themselves? Will they sacrifice? Will they make an end in a day? Will they revive the stones out of the heaps of rubbish which are burned?” Tobiah, the Amorite, was yet more caustic: “Even that which they build, if a fox go up, he will even break down their stone wall.” This ridicule, although the jests do not seem very formidable to us, was harder to bear than attacks with sword and spear. It is so to-day. We can stand anything but laughter. One would rather be made to appear infamous than ridiculous. The only answer the builders could make was to pray for the destruction of their sarcastic persecutors. They wished that heaven’s bolts of lightning might answer these bolts of wit.