The person who lends books may keep a list of them, and it is not discourtesy if the volumes lent are not returned within a reasonable length of time to ask for them. Many people who are quick to borrow are careless about returning. The standard of ethics in regard to returning books is with many people as low as the general standard in regard to the return of umbrellas. A book-plate is a great aid to the possessor of a library in keeping it together. Moreover, a pretty book-plate seems to give a touch of individuality to one’s volumes. The next best thing to individual bindings and tooled leather is this slighter mark of identity in one’s library.
One thing that makes for peace and etiquette in the home is the recognition of the rights of others. For this reason one member of the family should never inquire into another’s correspondence, into his engagements, social or otherwise, or ask questions even of his nearest and dearest. The fact that a man is one of a family, every member of which is dear to him, does not mean that he has no individuality, or that he must share the secrets of his friendships or business matters with any one. He should always feel in the home that any confidences he may care to give are most welcome, but that such confidences are never demanded or expected.
RESPECT FOR PRIVACY
In recognizing these rights of others, one must remember that each person’s own room is sacred to himself. It is inexcusably rude for one member of a family to enter the room of any other member without first knocking at the door and receiving permission to “come in.” Each human being should feel that he has one locality that belongs to him, where he can be alone unless he decrees otherwise. To further this end the wife should knock at her husband’s door before she enters his room, and the husband should show her the same consideration, while brothers and sisters should always give the warning tap, which is virtually a request for permission to enter, before opening the door that the occupant of the room has closed.
Americans are much criticized for their fondness for rocking chairs. Certainly there are many of us who should learn to use them less violently. The woman who rocks steadily back and forth while she is talking to her friends is lacking in the repose that is an essential element of charm. Equally bad habits are the snapping and unsnapping of a purse and twisting a handkerchief or a theater program into a roll. To hum below the breath when some one else is talking is extremely rude, and not less so when any two people are together.
COURTESYING FOR LITTLE GIRLS
For little girls, the courtesy of our grandmothers has been revived. It is certainly a charming mark of respect for them to show to older people.
A courtesy that should never be omitted is the asking of permission to open and read letters received while one is in conversation with others.