First, then, I place among the maxims of church and parish etiquette: Do not imagine that your next-pew neighbor must be your friend. If she be a newcomer and a stranger in the congregation, bow to her in meeting in lobby or in aisle cordially, recognizing her as a fellow worshiper in a temple where all are welcome and equal. If you can be of service to her in finding the place of hymn or psalm, should she be at a loss, perform the neighborly service tactfully and graciously,—always because you are in the House of the All-Father, and are His children,—not that you seek to court a mortal’s favor for any ulterior purpose.
In meeting her on the street, let your salutation be ready and pleasant, but not familiar. Don’t “Hello, Nellie!” her, then or ever, while bearing in mind that non-recognition of one you know to be a regular attendant at the same church with yourself, yet a comparative stranger there, is unkind and un-Christian.
THE STRANGER IN CHURCH
The case is different if you are the stranger. Friendly advances should come from the other side. If they are not made, there is nothing for you to do but to content yourself with the recollection that you go to church to worship God, not to make acquaintances. Never depend on your church-connection for society. If you find congenial associates there, rejoice in the happy circumstance and make the most of it. If you do not, do not rail at the congregation as “stiff and stuck up,” at the church as a hollow sham, and the pastor as an unfaithful shepherd. The expectation on the part of some people that he should neglect the weightier matters of the law and the gospel, and prostitute his holy office by becoming a social pudding-stick for incorporating into “a jolly crowd” the divers elements of those to whom he is called to minister, disgraces humanity and civilization—not to say Christianity.
PEW HOSPITALITY
Pew hospitality has fallen into disuse to a great extent of late years, principally on account of the usher-service. The tendency of this partial desuetude is to make pew owners utterly careless of their obligation to entertain strangers. Regard for the best interests of your particular church-organization should suggest to you as a duty that you notify the usher in your aisle of your willingness to receive strangers into your pews whenever the one or two vacant seats there may be needed. If your family fills them all every Sunday, you can not exercise the grace of hospitality.
When one or two, or three, are to be absent from either service, however, take the trouble to apprise the oft-sorely-perplexed official of the fact, and give him leave to bring to your door any one he has to seat. When the stranger appears, let him see at once that you esteem his coming a pleasure. Give him a good seat, a book and a welcome generally.