To ask no question does not, of necessity, mean a lack of interest in the person with whom one is conversing. A polite and sympathetic attention will show a more genuine and appreciative interest than much inquisitiveness.
A lack of interest in what is being told one is a breach of courtesy that is all too common. Often one sees a man or woman deliberately pick up a book or paper, open it and glance over it while his interlocutor is in the midst of a story he means to make interesting. If the conversation is interesting, it deserves the undivided attention of both persons; if what is being said is not worth attention, the listener should at least respect the speaker’s intention to please. There is nothing more dampening to conversational enthusiasm, or more “squelching” to eloquence, than to find the eyes of the person with whom one is talking fixed on a book or magazine, which he declares he is simply “looking over,” or at whose pictures he is “only glancing.”
THE GOOD LISTENER
A good listener is in himself an inspiration. Even if one is not attracted by the person to whom one is talking, one should assume interest. This rule also holds good with regard to the attention given to a public speaker. In listening to a preacher or to a lecturer, one should look at him steadily,—not allowing the eyes to wander about the building and along the ceiling and walls. This habit of a seemingly fixed attention is easily cultivated. If one is really interested in the address, it aids in the enjoyment and comprehension of it to watch the speaker’s facial play and gestures. If one is bored, one may yet fix the eyes upon the face of the person to whom one is supposed to be listening, and continue to think one’s own thoughts and to plan one’s own plans. And certainly the person who is exerting himself for the entertainment of his audience will speak better and be more comfortable for the knowledge that eyes belonging to some one who is apparently absorbed in his address are fixed upon him.
TACTFUL CRITICISM
One of the difficult things to do is to pass a criticism or make a suggestion as to the speech or manner of another person. Yet there are times when to refrain is to do the greatest unkindness to a person sincerely eager to learn. A happy solution is to include one’s self if possible in the censure given. “I’m afraid we were all a little boisterous to-night,” said a tactful woman of the world to a young girl who really had been boisterous. She caught the criticism intended and yet felt no hurt at the speaker.
TALKING AT THE TELEPHONE