CHAPTER IV
INTRODUCTIONS
THIS matter of introductions is one rather too lightly considered on our free American soil. Unless the social exigencies are such as to make the atmosphere formal and unpleasant if people are unknown to each other, it is taking a liberty to present a man to a woman without first and privately asking her permission. It is a woman’s privilege to decline or to accept masculine acquaintance as she chooses. If she grants permission for the introduction, the person who has asked such permission brings the man in question to her and says: “Miss A., may I have the pleasure of presenting Mr. B. to you?” We have all been witnesses at some time or other of that most unconventional performance where the woman in the case allows herself to be dragged across the floor to the man concerned. We have all, on occasion, heard the proper form so twisted as to make the woman the person presented instead of the man. This is the worst sort of no-form. The social convention prescribes that the man shall take the initiative in requesting the introduction, that he shall seek the lady, that he shall be the person presented.
INTRODUCING ONE’S HUSBAND
An American woman in presenting her husband will usually say, “My husband, Mr. Smith.” An English woman would be more formal. She would say simply, “Mr. Smith.” When a man is presented to a woman, if she is seated she need not rise but may merely bow. In case the man is distinguished or elderly or if he be a warm friend of her husband, or her guest, she will rise and shake hands.
Never awkwardly drag a newcomer around to every person in a large circle. Introduce him to several of those nearest and later such further introductions as are desirable will naturally follow. When the group includes a half-dozen only, it is necessary to introduce all round. In this case the ceremony may be gracefully shortened by repeating two or three names together, thus: “Mrs. Brown, Mrs. Smith, may I present Mr. James?”
Never introduce your sister or your daughter, if she be grown, merely as such. The other person will be confused, not knowing whether the one introduced is married or single, and hence in doubt as to what name to use.