Those who entertain often soon learn to discriminate between the guest whose presence helps to make a dinner a success and one who is an undigested lump in the social leaven. The desirable guest is not necessarily a wit or a beauty but she comes with a glad mind and heart, arrayed in her prettiest and with the sincere intention of trying to give pleasure. She realizes the compliment of her invitation and that it can not be acknowledged merely by extending a similar one. She must, as some one recently put it, “pay her scat” before she leaves the house. If her dearest enemy is present nothing in her manner will betray that fact to the hostess.
The meal should be announced by the servant in charge opening the door or doors leading into the dining-room and saying, “Dinner is served.” It saves confusion even at a small dinner to mark the places at table by cards inscribed with the appropriate name, but this is not obligatory.
THE DINNER PROCESSION
The host, with the lady who is to sit at his right, is the first to leave the drawing-room. The order of the other couples does not matter, except that the hostess, with the man who is to sit at her right, leaves last. The places of honor are those at the right of the host and the hostess. If the President were a guest, the hostess would lead the way to the dining-room with him, the President’s wife coming immediately after with the host. If two ladies are entertaining, one must play the part of host. At very large and formal dinners trays on which are small envelopes are placed in the men’s dressing-room, each envelope bearing the name of the woman the guest to whom it is addressed is to take in, and indicating by the letter L. or R. in the corner of the card on which side the two will sit.
ARRIVING AT A DINNER
A dinner party demands that the guest be not more than ten minutes early, and ordinarily not a half-minute behind the time mentioned in the invitation. In large cities, however, on account of the great distances, ten or fifteen minutes’ grace is allowed. After that interval has passed, the hostess—or her butler if she have one—should see that the cover laid for this person is removed, and the usual announcement made that “Dinner is served.” The servant at the door directs the women to their dressing-room, the men to theirs. In the dressing-room the women leave their wraps, but do not remove their gloves. Each woman, accompanied by her escort, descends to the drawing-room, greets the hosts, and the man who is to take her out to dinner is then introduced to her.
Where there are many courses a guest may, if he wish, sometimes decline one or more of these. He may also show by a gesture that he will not take wine, or, if his glasses are filled, he may simply lift them to his lips, taste the contents, then drink no more. As a glass will be filled as soon as emptied, the guest may say in a low voice, “No more, please!” when he has had enough. None of these refusals should be so marked as to attract the attention of his entertainers. A wine-glass should never be turned down.