CHAPTER XII
MEN AND WOMEN
THERE is some difference of opinion as to whether properly a man should ask permission to call upon a woman or the woman should confer the favor of her own volition. Sometimes this depends on the age of the woman under consideration. The invitation to call of a mature woman of society is the bestowal of a social favor in a sense different from the same request coming from a young girl. A young girl must be very sure indeed that a man would feel flattered by her invitation before she asks him to call. It is usually safe to assume that, if he does wish the acquaintance to go further than chance meetings, he will find a way to make it known to her, thus saving her the embarrassment of taking the initiative.
THE LENGTH OF A CALL
The time for making calls upon young women varies in different parts of the country. In the larger cities of the East the conventional time is between four and seven o’clock in the afternoon. In smaller towns of the East and in most southern and western places, evening calls are the mode. When the acquaintance between the young man and the young woman in question is slight, a call of half an hour is considered a proper length. When the acquaintance has mellowed into friendship, the length of the call is not prescribed. A sense of propriety will suggest to both when it should come to an end.
If a servant is in waiting when the caller arrives, this domestic should take care of the young man’s hat, coat and stick, or should designate where the caller may place these things. If the young woman herself should chance to open the door, she must designate where he is “to rest his wraps,” as the negroes say. She must not, on any account, assist him in ridding himself of these articles, nor, later, when he leaves, aid him in getting them together. Nice but socially uninstructed girls lay themselves open to severe criticism through exactly such mistaken actions.
If the call is a first call, the young man should be presented to the girl’s mother, and if the girl chooses, to other members of the family. In succeeding calls, according to conventional usage in America, it is merely a happen-so whether members of the young woman’s family are present or not.