THE CLEVER NOTE
The subject of letter-writing suggests the miniature accomplishment of note-writing. The art of brief sprightly expression on paper is one that is worth striving for. It is capable of yielding pleasure in many of the relations of life, in none more conspicuously than in the relation between young men and young women. A military man of some distinction was interviewing the lady principal of a girls’ school with reference to placing his daughter there. “What would you like to have her taught?” said the principal. “Some history;” he said meditatively, “an appreciation of good literature, and the art of writing as agreeable a note as her mother did before her.”
A young woman should hesitate to isolate herself from general society by accepting too great an amount of attention from any one man unless she intends to marry him. As long as she is in doubt on this head she has, prudery to the contrary, a right to accept the usual attentions from those men whom she likes. If she is so imprudent as to shut herself off from general companionship before she has reached a decision as to marriage and then decide in the negative, she is likely to suffer for her imprudence. By a ludicrous chance dependent upon the relation of the sexes, the man in the case, if he cares to reenter society, regains it much more easily than she. He can go about and take up dropped threads while she is waiting at home for callers who do not arrive. He is welcomed back with enthusiasm by the girls who thought him lost forever, while her recent avoidance of general society is counted against her.
BECOMING ENGAGED
When a young man finds his affections engaged he should formally ask the girl’s father for her hand and should state his financial condition. This rule of an older civilization than ours is much ridiculed in many sections of our country; and it is true that there are instances where it would not apply, where, for reasons, the young man should make his initial plea to the girl herself. But, generally speaking, the custom is to be commended. A young man may well suppose that a girl’s father will have her best interests at heart. If the young man is serious in his desire for her happiness he will have the courage to ask her of one of the two persons to whom she is dearest.
THE IMPORTANCE OF CHAPERONS
The whole matter of acquaintance between young men and young women is one of supreme importance in that it may lead to results of supreme importance. In view of this fact it is amazing that parents and guardians so often leave this matter to the action of chance, that they do not feel the wisdom of exercising a guiding hand in the choice of associates for the young people under their care. We have a prejudice against the European custom of social espionage over the young. But it is safe to assume that if we had more of such espionage sentimental disasters would not be so frequent as they now are, and more true and lasting friendships between young men and young women would be formed. The older members of the household should take a part in creating the social atmosphere in which their children move. They should cultivate the friendship and acquaintance of young people so that they may be able the more easily and wisely to exert an influence in the right direction. Only the opinion and taste of the person most concerned should be final and decisive in the matter of personal relations, but persuasion and direction are mighty forces to be employed. Especially should parents of attractive young women make it their business to know something about the young men who frequent the house. Said a father of five well-married young women: “I made it a rule in my daughters’ girlhood to allow no young man the entrée to my house who was not eligible in the sense of character and breeding.” It is true that youth and age will not always agree on the qualities of desirable companionship, and it is also true that in these disagreements age is sometimes wrong and youth is right; but this does not interfere with the truth of the statement that maturity should give to youth all the help possible in the frequently momentous choice of friends, particularly of those belonging to the opposite sex.
It is customary, shortly before a wedding, for a girl to give a farewell luncheon to her intimate girl friends, including her bridesmaids, and for a man to entertain his ushers at a dinner or supper party.