The duties and privileges of acting as chaperon, in such circumstances, are of so pleasant a kind that the office is a coveted one. Attractive women are much more apt to be asked to fill the position than unattractive ones, except when a chaperon is regarded simply as an offering on the altar of propriety.
Generally speaking, the duties of a chaperon are somewhat various, and more or less arduous, according to the quality of those chaperoned. These duties depend so largely upon circumstances that they are not easily classified. It is, of course, the part of the chaperon to smooth over awkward situations, to arrange and make smooth the path of pleasure. It is the duty of the chaperoned to agree without demur to whatever the chaperon may suggest. On any debatable point her decision must be regarded as final.
CHAPERONS AT A BALL
A personal and individual chaperon for every young girl is not necessary at a ball. It is expedient, however, that there should be some one present who, on demand, can act in that capacity for her,—some married woman with whom she may sit out a dance, if she be not provided with a partner, or whom she may consult in any of the small difficulties possible to the occasion. If a young woman attend a ball in company with her mother or some other matron, she should return each time, after a dance, to the seat occupied by her chaperon and should direct her several partners to find her there. In case she dances with any one unknown to her chaperon, it goes perhaps without saying that the man in the case should be presented properly to the friend in charge of her.
The question as to whether a young man must ask the services of a chaperon when he invites one young woman to accompany him to the theater is answered differently in different parts of the country. In the East a man who asks a young woman to go with him to the opera or the play, often invites her mother or some feminine married friend to accompany them. In the West this usage is not so common. Those who do not observe it are not regarded as outside the pale of good form.
ON OUTDOOR EXCURSIONS
A DUTCH TREAT
In the case of outdoor excursions the chaperon should fix the hour of departure to and from the place of festivity; she should group the guests for the journey there and back, and should designate their positions at the table if a meal or refreshments be served. The duty of the chaperoned, is, in return, to make the position of chaperon as agreeable as possible, to defer to her in every way. The favor, in the case of chaperonage, is conferred by the chaperon, though the actions of certain crude young people are no recognition of this fact. A case in point occurs to the writer where a young man and his wife were asked to chaperon a party of young people to a popular rendezvous twelve or fourteen miles from the city in which they lived. The married people, after much urging, consented with some reluctance, thereby sacrificing a cherished plan of their own. Going and coming they were asked to take the back seat, which they occupied by themselves,—a seat over the wheels of the large vehicle provided. During the country supper they sat at one end of the table where their presence was conversationally ignored. When the time came for returning home the married man was approached by one of the originators of the party, who said that the affair was a “Dutch treat,” and would he (the married man) please pay his share of the bill. This is, of course, an extraordinary case, but in a gross way it illustrates the lack of consideration often incident to the relation between chaperon and chaperoned. That the obligation to the chaperon should be properly recognized is an important part of social training.