DXXIII.—THE SPIRIT AND THE LETTER.
A man was described in a plea as "I. Jones," and the pleader referred in another part of the plea to "I" as an "initial." The plaintiff said that the plea was bad, because "I" was not a name. Sir W. Maule said that there was no reason why a man might not be christened "I" as well as Isaac, inasmuch as either could be pronounced alone. The counsel for the plaintiff then objected that the plea admitted that "I" was not a name by describing it as "an initial."—"Yes," retorted the judge, "but it does not aver that it is not a final as well as an initial letter."
DXXIV.—LOSING AN I.
A man being interrogated on a trial, spoke several words with much impropriety; and at last saying the word curosity, a counsellor exclaimed, "How that fellow murders the English language!"—"Nay," returned another, "he has only knocked an I out."
DXXV.—DRIVING IT HOME.
The late James Fergusson, Clerk of Session, a most genial and amiable man, of whose periodical fits of absence most edifying stories are still repeated by his friends, was an excellent and eloquent speaker, but in truth, there was often more sound than matter in his orations. He had a habit of lending emphasis to his arguments by violently beating with his clenched hand the bar before which he pleaded. Once when stating a case to Lord Polkemmet, with great energy of action, his lordship interposed, and exclaimed, "Maister Jemmy, dinna dunt; ye think ye're duntin't into me, and ye're just duntin't out o' me."
DXXVI.—THE EMPTY GUN.
As Dick and Tom in fierce dispute engage,
And, face to face, the noisy contest wage;
"Don't cock your chin at me," Dick smartly cries.
"Fear not—his head's not charged," a friend replies.
DXXVII.—A PIECE OF PLATE.
A young actor having played a part tolerably well, Elliston one evening called him into the green-room, and addressed him to this effect: "Young man, you have not only pleased the public, but you have pleased me; and, as a slight token of my regard and good wishes, I beg your acceptance of a small piece of plate." It was, beyond all question, a very small piece, for it was a silver toothpick!