A young man met a rival who was somewhat advanced in years, and, wishing to annoy him, inquired how old he was? "I can't exactly tell," replied the other; "but I can inform you that an ass is older at twenty than a man at sixty!"
XLII.—A STRIKING NOTICE.
The following admonition was addressed by a Quaker to a man who was pouring forth a volley of ill language against him: "Have a care, friend, thou mayest run thy face against my fist."
XLIII.—UP IN THE WORLD.
A fellow boasting in company of his family, declared even his own father died in an exalted situation. Some of the company looking incredulous, another observed, "I can bear testimony to the gentleman's veracity, as my father was sheriff for the county when his was hanged for horse-stealing."
XLIV.—REVERSE OF CIRCUMSTANCES.
When General V—— was quartered in a small town in Ireland, he and his lady were regularly besieged as they got into their carriage by an old beggar-woman, who kept her post at the door, assailing them daily with fresh importunities. One morning, as Mrs. V. stepped into the carriage, the woman began: "Oh, my lady! success to your ladyship, and success to your honor's honor: for sure I did not dream last night that her ladyship gave me a pound of tea, and your honor gave me a pound of tobacco."—"My good woman," said the general, "dreams go by the rule of contrary."—"Do they so?" rejoined the old woman; "then it must mean, that your honor will give me the tea, and her ladyship the tobacco."
XLV.—A DOGGED ANSWER.
Boswell, dining one day with Dr. Johnson, asked him if he did not think that a good cook was more essential to the community than a good poet. "I don't suppose," said the doctor, "that there's a dog in the town but what thinks so."