DCIX.—COLD COMFORT.
A juryman, kept several days at his own expense, sent a friend to the judge to complain that he had been paid nothing for his attendance. "O, tell him," said the witty judge, "that if ever he should have to go before a jury himself he will get one for nothing."
DCX.—A GREAT DIFFERENCE.
"The friends and opponents of the Bill," said a'Beckett, "are divided into two very distinct classes,—the a-bility and the no-bility."
DCXI.—OXFORD AND CAMBRIDGE ACTORS.
King James had two comedies acted before him, the one at Cambridge, the other at Oxford; that at Cambridge was called Ignoramus, an ingenious thing, wherein one Mr. Sleep was a principal actor; the other at Oxford was but a dull piece, and therein Mr. Wake was a prime actor. Which made his Majesty merrily to say, that in Cambridge one Sleep made him wake, and in Oxford one Wake made him sleep.
DCXII.—INQUEST—NOT EXTRAORDINARY.
Great Bulwer's works fell on Miss Basbleu's head,
And in a moment, lo! the maid was dead!
A jury sat, and found the verdict plain—
"She died of milk and water on the brain."
DCXIII.—STRANGE JETSUM.
A thin old man, with a rag-bag in his hand, was picking up a number of small pieces of whalebone which lay on the street. The deposit was of such a singular nature, that we asked the quaint-looking gatherer how he supposed they came there. "Don't know," he replied, in a squeaking voice; "but I 'spect some unfortunate female was wrecked hereabout somewhere."