A cockney being out one day amusing himself with shooting, happened to fire through a hedge, on the other side of which was a man standing. The shot passed through the man's hat, but missed the bird. "Did you fire at me, sir?" he hastily asked. "O! no, sir," said the shrewd sportsman, "I never hit what I fire at."
LVII.—WISE PRECAUTION.
It is related of the great Dr. Clarke, that when in one of his leisure hours he was unbending himself with a few friends in the most playful and frolicsome manner, he observed Beau Nash approaching; upon which he suddenly stopped: "My boys," said he, "let us be grave: here comes a fool."
LVIII.—A TRUMP CARD.
At one of the Holland-house Sunday dinner-parties, a year or two ago, Crockford's Club, then forming, was talked of; and the noble hostess observed, that the female passion for diamonds was surely less ruinous than the rage for play among men. "In short, you think," said Mr. Rogers, "that clubs are worse than diamonds." This joke excited a laugh; and when it had subsided, Sydney Smith wrote the following impromptu sermonet—most appropriately on a card:—
Thoughtless that "all that's brightest fades,"
Unmindful of that Knave of Spades,
The Sexton and his Subs:
How foolishly we play our parts!
Our wives on diamonds set their hearts,
We set our hearts on clubs!
LIX.—MISTAKEN IDENTITY.
A physician attending a lady several times, had received a couple of guineas each visit; at last, when he was going away, she gave him but one; at which he was surprised, and looking on the floor, "I believe, madam," said he, "I have dropt a guinea."—"No, sir," replied the lady, "it is I that have dropt it."
LX.—ALONE IN HIS GLORY.
A facetious fellow having unwittingly offended a conceited puppy, the latter told him he was no "gentleman."—"Are you a gentleman?" asked the droll one. "Yes, sir," bounced the fop. "Then, I am very glad I am not," replied the other.